This weekend I had an amazing time at SMASH, my church's all-women's retreat, up at SpringHill camp! I was able to spend time with some of my beloved sisters-in-Christ having fun, meeting new people, hearing amazing messages, and spending time with my Prince! However, before I left I was in a spiritual funk. Some things hadn't gone the way I thought it should or the way I thought God was leading and I was confused and struggling to connect with God. I was also feeling trapped, like I had to move or I couldn't grow anymore, and I thought it was because a big change was coming. What I didn't realize until the retreat was that my feeling trapped was being caused by expectations. And let me be clear, these expectations were not put on me by God, and very few were placed on me by others. The expectations trapping me were placed on me were bestowed by none other than myself.
My walk this past year has not been easy, and I've constantly had this feeling that I didn't fit in. I felt that I should be married like my friends and thinking of starting a family, I felt that I should already have a better job and be living out of my parents house, and I felt that I should know my calling for the Kingdom. Yet God doesn't feel it's best for me to have none of these yet. And it would leave me in a state of confusion or a state of obsessive hope that something, anything, would move! And when it didn't I felt like God had left me. But I realized this weekend that this was far from the truth! God was with me, but I couldn't hear His voice or feel His presence because I was too concerned with me and what I felt like God would want for me because I wanted it (I know this probably sounds confusing, but just roll with it). I couldn't hear from God because I was too busy listening to myself and the world. And sometimes it takes a change of location and scenery to truly understand that. So finally I took all these expectations, confessed my sinful selfish thoughts, and peacefully accepted God's expectations for me, which were so much lighter! He expects me to worship and glorify Him, to spend time with Him, to love others, and to share the light He gave me with others. He expects me to accept His grace because of the cross, and to put Him first before all else in my life! And you know what? It's wonderful, it's peaceful, and it's joyful! His expectations don't condemn, they love! How wonderful!
So now I'm finally back to a state of peace where I rebuke unfair expectations that distract me from God's incredible love! And now I'm free to dance with my Prince and accept whatever He brings me! I'm not worried about when I'll get married or have children because He is enough for me, and I know that the season of life that I'm in right now is being used to prepare me for the seasons that are coming! God is good all the time, and we can see it if we will get out of our own way! So I challenge you to look at the expectations that either you or the world are putting on your shoulders and give them to the One who's expectations are much better!
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