Today I gathered with some close friends and watched my beloved Michigan State Spartans play in the Cotton Bowl against the Baylor Bears (Go Green!). Now, as much as I love my school and their football team, they have a never-ending tendency of stressing me out because I never know if they're going to win or lose a game, most times, until the clock hits 0:00, and today's game was no exception. Down by 20 points, I thought we were done for and was prepared to say, "Oh well, better luck next year". I thought I knew how this game would end. Fortunately for me I was wrong, and my Spartans completed the impossible comeback through a crazy 4th quarter so the scoreboard read Spartans:42- Bears: 41 at 0:00! It was unbelievable, but as I was driving home I thought about how I might have reacted if I had known that my boys were going to win while watching the game. I've had the experience of recording and re-watching MSU games and it's a much more relaxing experience. While I know what the final score will be, however, I rarely remember what happened in the middle of the game unless it was highlight worthy. Many times, if it was a win, there are some great catches and runs, perhaps a blocked kick or a trick play here and there, but there are also many low points; an interception, a fumble, being unable to convert on 3rd down, a missed field goal attempt. And throughout much of the game are just lulls filled with a lack of excitement. Thinking about the way I contemplate and experience football games got me thinking about the way we think about our lives.
Many times we approach life as if we were watching the game live. We live and die by each play, and the uncertainty of what could happen next can stress us out. We get excited about each big play and have a desire for more, but when the worst happens we can get so depressed that we decide we don't want to watch anymore (that tends to be my reaction). And if a game gets really boring we have a tendency to tune out and wish for something exciting to happen. We're on the edge of our seats until the time clock reaches 0:00 and then we look back to see what happened and see if we can remember all the big moments or, if it's a loss, we try to forget and distract ourselves from the disappointment. But what if we had a different approach? If we know Jesus and accept him into our lives as Lord and Savior, then it's like watching a game where you know the outcome is going to be a win. Jesus already won by dying on the cross with all of our sins and defeating the grave by rising again. He won the ultimate battle! And better yet, even when we don't know what comes next he does! Just look at Jeremiah 29:11 or read through the Psalms, he knows we're going to win too because he already won!
What if we approached each day knowing this, fully internalizing his victory. What would happen in our daily life? Would we walk with confidence in knowing that even though the time clock hasn't reached 0:00 that we're going to win? Would we let the lulls and setbacks disappoint us? It's strange to think about, but I have a feeling it would help us to relax to our daily stresses and forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Instead of thinking that change and development in us is hopeless, would we be able to let go and trust that God has got this so we could get up and try again? During the Cotton Bowl I watched Connor Cook, the MSU quarterback, throw an interception during a crucial point in the game when the Spartans were beginning to mount a comeback. While many of us would want the ground to eat us whole so we could disappear and try to forget that ever happened or just give up altogether, that's not what Cook did. On the next set of downs he got back out on the field and tried again, this time leading to the eventual comeback. This is what walking with Jesus does for us! Yes, we will make mistakes, some of which will be embarrassing or incredibly damaging, but we know that with Jesus everything will be alright and it gives us the confidence to get back up and try again. And unlike a sports game, we don't have to mount the comeback on our own, instead we know that He is with us and that we will overcome because he loves us!
So instead of approaching your life as a live game, try looking at it as if it's a game already won, and you're just watching what happens to lead to victory. Because Jesus loves us and died for us, we are victorious and can walk in that confidence even though the time clock has not yet hit 0:00. Trust him, because he knows the plans he has for you and he will not stop working with you here on earth until his work in you is complete! And then we will celebrate triumphantly in heaven together!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Monday, December 1, 2014
Your Masterpiece
You gather your colors, the whole spectrum of the universe, and prepare your brushes: love, grace, truth. In your mind a wisp of an idea begins to form, churning and tightening as you determine each very specific detail. The image takes form in your magnificent mind and you begin to put paint to canvas. You start small, from the vital beating muscle within. A brush of passionate love here, a swish of vibrant joy there that becomes blended into the dark anxiety, doubt, and fear. As you move the brush around the darkness becomes almost unrecognizable. You swoop the brush as a magnificent beauty appears upon the canvas, and a pleasant thankfulness is the final touch to the beating heart.
Next you begin on the intricate muscle above, where messages will flow from and enter through. You put your brush to work once more and begin to blend intelligence, logic, and swirl of humor, a navigation of the passion which was bestowed upon the heart. Some of the darkness from the beating muscle below makes its way up, but is mixed and blended more and more gradually as before until, it too, is barely noticed.
You continue your work of art, adding lovely hazel-blue lenses through which to appreciate your work and natural beauty, and a portal through which to hear the gorgeous swells of blended harmonies and melodies. Another stroke and soft pink lips are added through which love will be expressed and music will be created. The canvas, almost filled now, is magnificent and beyond compare. You frown as you try to determine what's missing. The image becomes even clearer and brush meeting paint caresses canvas once more. Wavy brunette hair with reflections of your light covers the brain. A few dots on the face and distinguishable dimples are born to brighten the smile. Curves and edges created with graceful swoops work down and create legs and hips to move, dance, skip, and jump. Arms and hands are created to embrace, pray, worship, and create. Once a lovely white silk gown is donned and a shimmering crown rests gently upon the head, the painter leans back and smiles, beyond pleased with his work. He gives it a kiss and the figure breaks free of the canvas, living, breathing, twirling, dancing freely. She stops and looks at her creator and her eyes shimmer with love. "There you are, my princess, my masterpiece." You proclaim, "You are so beautiful for me."
Next you begin on the intricate muscle above, where messages will flow from and enter through. You put your brush to work once more and begin to blend intelligence, logic, and swirl of humor, a navigation of the passion which was bestowed upon the heart. Some of the darkness from the beating muscle below makes its way up, but is mixed and blended more and more gradually as before until, it too, is barely noticed.
You continue your work of art, adding lovely hazel-blue lenses through which to appreciate your work and natural beauty, and a portal through which to hear the gorgeous swells of blended harmonies and melodies. Another stroke and soft pink lips are added through which love will be expressed and music will be created. The canvas, almost filled now, is magnificent and beyond compare. You frown as you try to determine what's missing. The image becomes even clearer and brush meeting paint caresses canvas once more. Wavy brunette hair with reflections of your light covers the brain. A few dots on the face and distinguishable dimples are born to brighten the smile. Curves and edges created with graceful swoops work down and create legs and hips to move, dance, skip, and jump. Arms and hands are created to embrace, pray, worship, and create. Once a lovely white silk gown is donned and a shimmering crown rests gently upon the head, the painter leans back and smiles, beyond pleased with his work. He gives it a kiss and the figure breaks free of the canvas, living, breathing, twirling, dancing freely. She stops and looks at her creator and her eyes shimmer with love. "There you are, my princess, my masterpiece." You proclaim, "You are so beautiful for me."
Friday, November 14, 2014
Standing in the Hallway
Step by step, one foot in front of the other. I follow his lead with my hand resting gently in his. I hear a click and there's a brief squeak as he ushers me through the golden front door. And then we stop and as I gaze upon my new surroundings I hear a faint click as I recognize the sound of a lock falling into place. I find myself in a beautiful hallway with cream colored trimmings and soft purple walls, the color of royalty. Yes, I am in the hallway of a home belonging to royalty. There are beautiful paintings and verses filled with promise and hope. There is even a marble staircase on the right side that leads up to another hallway. There are magnificent flowing tapestries upon the front windows.
As I'm exploring I feel the familiar presence of my guide. No, not my guide. My Prince. His title is marked by the crown of thorns around his head. His hands seek mine in his once more, and he looks at me with a smile that radiates pure love.
"My dear princess," he says, "I must leave you here for now, but before I go I must explain. This is the house of your life. You have been faithful and given all you are and all you have to me, and so the time has come for me to bring you here. However, only this hallway is ready for you. I must go ahead and prepare each room of the house, and I will bring it to you when it is complete and ready for your presence. You are safe here. Do not be afraid when robbers bang on the door and try to get in. Trust that I have taken every precaution for your safety. While you may not see me for a little while, I am always with you and will always fight for you, you need only be still. All I ask for is your trust. I can hardly wait to see your face light up as I show you what I have prepared for you! So now, my beautiful bride, it is time for me to go. I will see you soon." And with a kiss on my forehead he's gone.
Who am I that my Prince Jesus has prepared a house of royalty for me? I never dreamed I would be led here! I begin to explore and walk around the hallway. It is only now that I realize the doors around me. All of the doors have a golden label, and some of them have words etched into the precious metal. I walk past a door that reads "Calling", and another that reads "Moving Out", and yet another that reads "Marriage". I try to open the third door but it will not open. That room is not ready for me yet. Other doors have only a few letters etched in so I can not make out their titles. I realize that behind each door my Prince is preparing the room for me, and I am filled with excitement and try to imagine what incredible things I will find behind the door. I know he will not open a single door until that room is ready for me. Oh how I long to walk through each door, but I know that I don't want to walk through a single door with any baggage, with any emotion that will hinder me from taking in the fullness of the room. I only want to walk through the doors with a joyous, grateful, praising heart.
When I get up I walk to the very last door in the hallway, directly opposite the first door Jesus and I came through. This golden label reads "Everlasting Life", and I realize that the view behind this door will be the greatest of them all, the one that will take the most time to prepare. Oh who am I that the heavenly prince would love me, save me, and prepare a lovely home for me! I have done nothing to earn this gift. I turn and find two magnificent paintings on the wall. The first features my Prince bloody and weak nailed to a cross. A reminder of the price that was paid, how great my Prince's love for me is. The second painting features an empty tomb with white cloth draped over stone upon which his body once lay. It is the reminder of his triumph, the victory. And it is through both of these paintings that I realize why I am here. Nothing I have done, other than taking the hand of my Prince, has brought me here. It was all him.
I begin to sing and hear my song echo off the walls with such grace. My joy leads me to dance, and I spin around like a young girl in a new dress and laugh as I fall down dizzy. And with a deep breath I whisper the words, "Thank you Jesus!"
I walk up the marble staircase and see a magnificent mirror with words written on the frame. The words read "Encourager" "Supporter" "Captivating" "Loved" "Compassionate" "Daring" "Nurturer" "Joy" "Pure" "Blameless" and "Princess". Below the large mirror is a small table upon which sits a beautiful glittering crown, a princess crown. No, my crown. I gently place the crown upon my head and gaze in the mirror as I see myself in a brand new and altogether lovely way!
Oh how loved I am!
As I'm exploring I feel the familiar presence of my guide. No, not my guide. My Prince. His title is marked by the crown of thorns around his head. His hands seek mine in his once more, and he looks at me with a smile that radiates pure love.
"My dear princess," he says, "I must leave you here for now, but before I go I must explain. This is the house of your life. You have been faithful and given all you are and all you have to me, and so the time has come for me to bring you here. However, only this hallway is ready for you. I must go ahead and prepare each room of the house, and I will bring it to you when it is complete and ready for your presence. You are safe here. Do not be afraid when robbers bang on the door and try to get in. Trust that I have taken every precaution for your safety. While you may not see me for a little while, I am always with you and will always fight for you, you need only be still. All I ask for is your trust. I can hardly wait to see your face light up as I show you what I have prepared for you! So now, my beautiful bride, it is time for me to go. I will see you soon." And with a kiss on my forehead he's gone.
Who am I that my Prince Jesus has prepared a house of royalty for me? I never dreamed I would be led here! I begin to explore and walk around the hallway. It is only now that I realize the doors around me. All of the doors have a golden label, and some of them have words etched into the precious metal. I walk past a door that reads "Calling", and another that reads "Moving Out", and yet another that reads "Marriage". I try to open the third door but it will not open. That room is not ready for me yet. Other doors have only a few letters etched in so I can not make out their titles. I realize that behind each door my Prince is preparing the room for me, and I am filled with excitement and try to imagine what incredible things I will find behind the door. I know he will not open a single door until that room is ready for me. Oh how I long to walk through each door, but I know that I don't want to walk through a single door with any baggage, with any emotion that will hinder me from taking in the fullness of the room. I only want to walk through the doors with a joyous, grateful, praising heart.
When I get up I walk to the very last door in the hallway, directly opposite the first door Jesus and I came through. This golden label reads "Everlasting Life", and I realize that the view behind this door will be the greatest of them all, the one that will take the most time to prepare. Oh who am I that the heavenly prince would love me, save me, and prepare a lovely home for me! I have done nothing to earn this gift. I turn and find two magnificent paintings on the wall. The first features my Prince bloody and weak nailed to a cross. A reminder of the price that was paid, how great my Prince's love for me is. The second painting features an empty tomb with white cloth draped over stone upon which his body once lay. It is the reminder of his triumph, the victory. And it is through both of these paintings that I realize why I am here. Nothing I have done, other than taking the hand of my Prince, has brought me here. It was all him.
I begin to sing and hear my song echo off the walls with such grace. My joy leads me to dance, and I spin around like a young girl in a new dress and laugh as I fall down dizzy. And with a deep breath I whisper the words, "Thank you Jesus!"
I walk up the marble staircase and see a magnificent mirror with words written on the frame. The words read "Encourager" "Supporter" "Captivating" "Loved" "Compassionate" "Daring" "Nurturer" "Joy" "Pure" "Blameless" and "Princess". Below the large mirror is a small table upon which sits a beautiful glittering crown, a princess crown. No, my crown. I gently place the crown upon my head and gaze in the mirror as I see myself in a brand new and altogether lovely way!
Oh how loved I am!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Let It Go
When thinking about this post, no other three words seemed like a better fit. And if you're anything like me, when you read this a certain Disney song popped into your head. And if you're exactly like me, you probably started singing it! These three words, however, were the main message of this morning's service at my church. It spoke about letting go of our fear of the consequences of truth, however I actually only remember a skit that was performed near the end.
In this skit it featured a man in a business suit looking very aggravated and walking at a hurried pace. He walked right past another man who was sitting eating his McDonald's on a park bench. The man on the bench asked if the businessman was leaving work early, to which the response was that he was and added that he'd been having a tough year. After taking a phone call that added to the businessman's aggravation, he came to sit down by the man sitting on the bench. After some conversation the businessman revealed his struggles with a man at work and a meeting that he had that didn't go so well. The man on the bench said that one of the businessman's coworkers was having a tough time with some things and maybe he could be shown understanding and patience. He also added that the businessman could have taken a different approach in the meeting. The businessman looked confused. The man on the bench was not in his meeting, how did he know these things? After revealing some more details to him, the businessman was thoroughly bewildered. Then, as a test, the businessman asked a question to which the answer was very personal, "In 7th grade I had a crush on this girl and I wrote her a note asking if she liked me and for her to check 'Yes' 'No' or 'Maybe'. What did I write this note on?" The man on the bench answered that he had written it on a wrapper. The businessman smiled in relief and announced that something else had been used, not the wrapper, for his note. The man on the bench countered saying that that was his second draft of the same note, the first draft had been written on the wrapper. He then added, "And I remember how hurt you were when she checked 'No' and how you yelled at me." At this point the businessman realized that he was speaking with God and was amazed. He came to sit on the bench where God asked him about all the different things in his life. His money, his car, and then his job. The businessman realized that God was asking him to give these things into God's hands. At the mention of his job the businessman became reluctant saying that he somehow needed to provide for his family, but finally handed it over in the form of his briefcase. Then God asked about the man's family. The man showed Him a picture as he beamed proudly, which quickly turned into a deep frown when he realized that God was asking for this too. The man took a lot longer with this, it was his family, his flesh and blood, something he poured a lot of love into. Finally, the man tearfully handed God his family in the form of the picture. Then the man became angry, saying that God now had everything and he was scared. Then God said, "Not everything". The man realized that God wanted him to hand over his life. This took the longest of all, the man had given up everything else he had to God, and now God wanted him as well. The look on the man's face showed that he thought God was asking too much. He asked what God could possibly want with him, what He could possibly do with his life. God responded, "You'll be amazed." Finally the man gave his life up to God and came to sit beside him on the bench once more. Then he started laughing realizing that he already felt better. And then something amazing happened. God handed him everything back. His briefcase, his car, his money, his family. The man was confused. God said, "Remember, they all belong to me. And I'm trusting them to you." As God got up to leave the man asked what he should do with everything given to him. God responded, "Check in with me and I'll tell you."
So what does this beautiful skit have to do with anything? When we come into a relationship with God we need to realize that God doesn't just want to save us and cleanse us of our sins. He wants all of us, and He can only have that if we surrender control over the things we love and give that to Him.
God has asked me to do this several times in my life. When I surrendered my life to Christ He asked me to give my family and my future to Him. I struggled, but I surrendered them. When I was struggling with teaching God asked me to give my career life over to Him. At that point I didn't know what else to do so I gladly gave it into the arms of God. And then God asked me to hand over a man I loved, a man I was engaged to, and asked me to trust Him. I struggled a lot with this one but eventually I surrendered. And God has blessed me abundantly for each surrender even though I was terrified. I thought I had given everything over to God, and then He shocked me once more. After this morning's service I saw my dear friend and mentor and went down to visit her. We talked about the service and I told her about my experience at the retreat I went on with the high schoolers. I confessed to her that part of my struggle had come because I felt like God was asking me to give up my dreams of being a wife and mother, dreams that I'd had as a young girl and then given up in my teenage years because I lost hope as the world told me I wasn't beautiful and I wondered how anyone could love me for the rest of my life, no one was even that interested. After I came to Christ pst-college, my hope for marriage was sparked once more. And after my broken engagement it was this hope which I clung to, that someday God would bring the right man into my life to be my husband. I had been praying for this man and writing him letters and working to live my life in a way that would bring both him and God joy. When I felt like God was asking me to give all this up I freaked out. After the retreat I concluded that that was not it, it couldn't be. After I told my friend this she asked me, "Could you give up your dream of marriage?" I stood there stunned. I said, "I can't see how God wouldn't have a husband for me." My friend responded, "That's not what I asked. Could you give up your dream of marriage to God?" I squirmed, "I feel like this is a desire of my heart, I feel like He's been preparing me for it." Once again my friend asked, "Will you give you your desire for marriage to God? Is God enough for you?" I felt like I was the man in the skit talking to God when asked to give up his family. My life had been easy to give up, and now God was asking for my deepest desire, my strongest dream, the hope that had been keeping me alive. And I wrestled, I clung, and then finally released. "Yes, I give it up to Him," I finally said. My friend smiled and asked to pray with me, and I felt lighter! Don't get me wrong, I'm still terrified, but I also realize that as in the skit, God could hand my dream back to me, He may still give me what I desired, but only if it fits into His plan. And now I fully trust that His plans are better than my own. God has rewarded me for my obedience, for releasing everything up to Him, and I know He will continue to. And as was said in the skit, when asked what God could do with me, God is saying, "You'll be amazed!"
So this morning God once more asked me to "Let It Go", and I look in joyful expectation for what He will do!
If God is asking you to let go of something, take the time to pray and consider, but I hope you'll give it up to Him. He loves you and He cares so much about you. Our control holds us back from living the life we were meant to and the stress overpowers us. He can take the load, and He's the most careful and trustworthy being there is. I pray that you listen to this song and feel God's love rush upon you. Surrender to Him and you won't be disappointed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkDqQtfs0w
In this skit it featured a man in a business suit looking very aggravated and walking at a hurried pace. He walked right past another man who was sitting eating his McDonald's on a park bench. The man on the bench asked if the businessman was leaving work early, to which the response was that he was and added that he'd been having a tough year. After taking a phone call that added to the businessman's aggravation, he came to sit down by the man sitting on the bench. After some conversation the businessman revealed his struggles with a man at work and a meeting that he had that didn't go so well. The man on the bench said that one of the businessman's coworkers was having a tough time with some things and maybe he could be shown understanding and patience. He also added that the businessman could have taken a different approach in the meeting. The businessman looked confused. The man on the bench was not in his meeting, how did he know these things? After revealing some more details to him, the businessman was thoroughly bewildered. Then, as a test, the businessman asked a question to which the answer was very personal, "In 7th grade I had a crush on this girl and I wrote her a note asking if she liked me and for her to check 'Yes' 'No' or 'Maybe'. What did I write this note on?" The man on the bench answered that he had written it on a wrapper. The businessman smiled in relief and announced that something else had been used, not the wrapper, for his note. The man on the bench countered saying that that was his second draft of the same note, the first draft had been written on the wrapper. He then added, "And I remember how hurt you were when she checked 'No' and how you yelled at me." At this point the businessman realized that he was speaking with God and was amazed. He came to sit on the bench where God asked him about all the different things in his life. His money, his car, and then his job. The businessman realized that God was asking him to give these things into God's hands. At the mention of his job the businessman became reluctant saying that he somehow needed to provide for his family, but finally handed it over in the form of his briefcase. Then God asked about the man's family. The man showed Him a picture as he beamed proudly, which quickly turned into a deep frown when he realized that God was asking for this too. The man took a lot longer with this, it was his family, his flesh and blood, something he poured a lot of love into. Finally, the man tearfully handed God his family in the form of the picture. Then the man became angry, saying that God now had everything and he was scared. Then God said, "Not everything". The man realized that God wanted him to hand over his life. This took the longest of all, the man had given up everything else he had to God, and now God wanted him as well. The look on the man's face showed that he thought God was asking too much. He asked what God could possibly want with him, what He could possibly do with his life. God responded, "You'll be amazed." Finally the man gave his life up to God and came to sit beside him on the bench once more. Then he started laughing realizing that he already felt better. And then something amazing happened. God handed him everything back. His briefcase, his car, his money, his family. The man was confused. God said, "Remember, they all belong to me. And I'm trusting them to you." As God got up to leave the man asked what he should do with everything given to him. God responded, "Check in with me and I'll tell you."
So what does this beautiful skit have to do with anything? When we come into a relationship with God we need to realize that God doesn't just want to save us and cleanse us of our sins. He wants all of us, and He can only have that if we surrender control over the things we love and give that to Him.
God has asked me to do this several times in my life. When I surrendered my life to Christ He asked me to give my family and my future to Him. I struggled, but I surrendered them. When I was struggling with teaching God asked me to give my career life over to Him. At that point I didn't know what else to do so I gladly gave it into the arms of God. And then God asked me to hand over a man I loved, a man I was engaged to, and asked me to trust Him. I struggled a lot with this one but eventually I surrendered. And God has blessed me abundantly for each surrender even though I was terrified. I thought I had given everything over to God, and then He shocked me once more. After this morning's service I saw my dear friend and mentor and went down to visit her. We talked about the service and I told her about my experience at the retreat I went on with the high schoolers. I confessed to her that part of my struggle had come because I felt like God was asking me to give up my dreams of being a wife and mother, dreams that I'd had as a young girl and then given up in my teenage years because I lost hope as the world told me I wasn't beautiful and I wondered how anyone could love me for the rest of my life, no one was even that interested. After I came to Christ pst-college, my hope for marriage was sparked once more. And after my broken engagement it was this hope which I clung to, that someday God would bring the right man into my life to be my husband. I had been praying for this man and writing him letters and working to live my life in a way that would bring both him and God joy. When I felt like God was asking me to give all this up I freaked out. After the retreat I concluded that that was not it, it couldn't be. After I told my friend this she asked me, "Could you give up your dream of marriage?" I stood there stunned. I said, "I can't see how God wouldn't have a husband for me." My friend responded, "That's not what I asked. Could you give up your dream of marriage to God?" I squirmed, "I feel like this is a desire of my heart, I feel like He's been preparing me for it." Once again my friend asked, "Will you give you your desire for marriage to God? Is God enough for you?" I felt like I was the man in the skit talking to God when asked to give up his family. My life had been easy to give up, and now God was asking for my deepest desire, my strongest dream, the hope that had been keeping me alive. And I wrestled, I clung, and then finally released. "Yes, I give it up to Him," I finally said. My friend smiled and asked to pray with me, and I felt lighter! Don't get me wrong, I'm still terrified, but I also realize that as in the skit, God could hand my dream back to me, He may still give me what I desired, but only if it fits into His plan. And now I fully trust that His plans are better than my own. God has rewarded me for my obedience, for releasing everything up to Him, and I know He will continue to. And as was said in the skit, when asked what God could do with me, God is saying, "You'll be amazed!"
So this morning God once more asked me to "Let It Go", and I look in joyful expectation for what He will do!
If God is asking you to let go of something, take the time to pray and consider, but I hope you'll give it up to Him. He loves you and He cares so much about you. Our control holds us back from living the life we were meant to and the stress overpowers us. He can take the load, and He's the most careful and trustworthy being there is. I pray that you listen to this song and feel God's love rush upon you. Surrender to Him and you won't be disappointed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkDqQtfs0w
Thursday, October 30, 2014
My Walk with God
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37-39
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God; This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:7;9-12
I've used this blog to write about my struggles and lessons from walking with Christ, however God has been putting it on my heart that I haven't shared my testimony, or my story, in a while. Sharing my testimony is something that I had to do when I first found small groups and when I was baptized. I've shared the short version a few times with people who have wondered about it, but I haven't shared it in full in over a year. So here it is, now you can know the person behind the writing.
Before Christ
I was born to amazing parents in Metro-Detroit who have always been supportive, helpful, and have provided more than enough laughs and memories. I'm the oldest of three, and I shared my parents' love with my sister and brother whom I dearly love. I would describe my family life as being very happy, and I've wanted for nothing as my dad works a good job and my mom was able to stay home and raise us. Family and education were valued. However, one thing my family never did was go to church. I believed there was a higher being, perhaps God, but I didn't understand (nor did I care to try) the whole Jesus thing. I also believed that being a Christian and going to church was only for those who had a harder time dealing with life. I thought I was strong enough to go through life without it.
When my great-grandfather died I heard about salvation for the first time. The pastor shared that my great-grandfather's greatest wish was for his family to be saved. At 14 years old I didn't really understand what that meant. When I asked my mom she said that my great-grandparents believed that we would go to hell if we didn't accept Jesus and were "saved". This hurt me as, from my perspective, I didn't see how I wouldn't go to heaven. Overall I was a good kid, so how could I go to hell? This realization pushed me away from church and God.
After graduating from high school I attended my dream school, Michigan State University, to earn a degree in Elementary Education. Don't ask me why, but I always wanted to be a Spartan. I had also been determined, since childhood, to become an elementary school teacher. In my first week as a Spartan I met my best friend! She was different from the other friends I'd had before, and I liked how she always cared about me and accepted me for who I was. I didn't have to worry about her going behind my back or doing something to purposely hurt me. However, as a freshmen, I could tell she was one of the more popular girls who would go out to parties with friends, drink, and smoke. To me she seemed like a typical college girl, just very friendly toward me.
In my Junior year of college I realized that my best friend was becoming a different person, in a good way. She didn't go out partying as much and she spent more time going to a church near campus. She seemed happier, and I couldn't put my finger on what was going on. Our Senior year we ended up getting an apartment together, where I witnessed more of her changes.
Early in my Senior year of college I heard of the unexpected death of someone I knew of in high school. She was doing her student teaching (what I would be doing the next year) when she died of an aneurism (I believe). That information, mixed with my innate ability to worry, started me down a very dark path for the year. I became a hypochondriac, afraid that I had cancer or could die at any time. I also became afraid of things like nuclear war and the sudden end of the world. Thoughts of what it would be like to die were prominent in my mind. I could hide these intense fears well, but I knew that I was not living a quality life. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't seek help.
It was also at this time that my friend became more bold with sharing her church life with me. We would have talks about Jesus and the Bible, which I had believed could've been written by men who were high and making stuff up. However, the changes that were happening within my friend was something I couldn't deny, and I knew it was linked to the Jesus stuff. Close to graduation, my friend and her step-father (who is extremely educated in biblical history) shared with me some of the bibles' history and some of the evidence that showed that there was nothing definitive proving there was no God, and that there was (and is) still too much in question that science cannot definitively answer.
Accepting Christ
Shortly after graduating with my bachelors degree in Elementary Education, I was in the process of moving home. I was still wrestling with the intense fears I'd been having when my friend gave me a copy of the New Testament. While reading it I realized how tiring it was to be in control of my own life, and that I had no idea what was best for me. I was also scared because, after student teaching, I had no idea where life would take me. It was a late June afternoon in 2011 that I chose to surrender my life to Jesus. That summer I read through all of the New Testament (minus Revelations, my friend said that is a tough book to read) and cut out swearing (for the most part). I was also working to be kind towards my friends and family.
When student teaching started I quickly lost the joy of my new found salvation amidst the graduate level coursework and the teaching workload. Soon I found myself back in a dark and lonely place, living back where I had grown up with only a few friends nearby (who were just as busy as I was). One January night I decided to go out with my best friend and a couple of her friends. Everyone was dressing up but I was just not feeling it. I didn't like any of my dresses and just didn't feel like seeing people. When I finally did get out of the house, I was annoyed because I barely knew anyone and I didn't get to spend enough time with my friend. I left that night without telling her I was going. But before I left, another friend of mine told me that she was attending a church called Woodside that she really liked.
I didn't think much about that church until a few weeks later when God made it clear to me that I needed community to help me learn about God. I messaged the girl who told me about it on Facebook to ask her about Woodside and she invited me to join her for their Sunday night Young Adults service called Lighthouse. I took her up on the offer and went to check it out. I was amazed by how exciting the music was and how the message really spoke to me. I was thrilled when they told us that we could join small groups to get to know other people. I signed up that night and found myself a part of a great group comprised of women who shared completely life changing stories of their experiences with God. They were so kind and welcomed me, and I was amazed. I started attending church (especially the Lighthouse services) more regularly and about a month later I signed up to be baptized.
About a month before my baptism I went to the Lighthouse Good Friday service. They had opened the event up to all young adults in the area. I went with one of the girls from my group who said she was meeting up with some of her friends. It was there that I met two men who I later learned had a co-ed small group and they invited me to come. I told my best friend, who was looking for a Christian group to join since moving home from school, to come check it out with me. Within a summer I had a group of amazing friends who are still very dear to me today.
On May 20th, 2012 I was baptized at Woodside Bible Church. My parents, along with my best friend and her family, watched and supported me. It was an amazing experience.
What I've Learned About God
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" Jeremiah 29:11-13
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life; and have it to the full." John 10:10
I have learned so much about God, Jesus, and faith in my walk so far. One of the biggest things I learned about God happened in the summer of 2012. I was doing a book study of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge with the girls in my small group, a book that has and continues to change my life as a woman of God, when I learned that God doesn't just want to save us, that's not the only reason why Jesus came and died on the cross to defeat the grave. It started with this verse:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3
The authors explained it in clearer terms to say:
"God has sent me on a mission. I have some great news for you. God has sent me to restore and release something, and that something is you. I am here to give you back your heart and set you free. I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you, and I will fight against him. Let me comfort you. For, dear one, I will bestow beauty upon you where you have known only devastation, joy, in the places of your deep sorrow. And I will robe your heart in thankful praise in exchange for your resignation and despair." Captivating, pg. 96
This helped me to understand that there was more to Jesus than just salvation and good teaching. He didn't just care about where I ended up, He cares about who I am right now. He wants to take on my pain, my sorrow, my mistakes, my anxiety, my anger, etc. He wants to heal me and perfect me in His image! It was from knowing this that I realized that God doesn't just want my soul, He wants a relationship with me, He wants a relationship with everyone! And this view has made all the difference! People sometimes ask me how I know God is real. It's not because of science (which I believe is how we explore God's creation) or theological proof. My faith in God can never be shaken because I've experienced a relationship as real as the ones I have with my family, friends, and eventually my spouse. Once you've experienced how much God loves you, pursues you, fights for you, soothes you, comforts you, and counsels you then you know God is real! I can't go back, and I don't want to! My life verse, at this point in my life, is:
'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37-39
God has done amazing things in my life, and I have total faith that He will continue to, for His Word says "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6)."
Thank you for reading my testimony! I give God all the praise!
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God; This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:7;9-12
I've used this blog to write about my struggles and lessons from walking with Christ, however God has been putting it on my heart that I haven't shared my testimony, or my story, in a while. Sharing my testimony is something that I had to do when I first found small groups and when I was baptized. I've shared the short version a few times with people who have wondered about it, but I haven't shared it in full in over a year. So here it is, now you can know the person behind the writing.
Before Christ
I was born to amazing parents in Metro-Detroit who have always been supportive, helpful, and have provided more than enough laughs and memories. I'm the oldest of three, and I shared my parents' love with my sister and brother whom I dearly love. I would describe my family life as being very happy, and I've wanted for nothing as my dad works a good job and my mom was able to stay home and raise us. Family and education were valued. However, one thing my family never did was go to church. I believed there was a higher being, perhaps God, but I didn't understand (nor did I care to try) the whole Jesus thing. I also believed that being a Christian and going to church was only for those who had a harder time dealing with life. I thought I was strong enough to go through life without it.
When my great-grandfather died I heard about salvation for the first time. The pastor shared that my great-grandfather's greatest wish was for his family to be saved. At 14 years old I didn't really understand what that meant. When I asked my mom she said that my great-grandparents believed that we would go to hell if we didn't accept Jesus and were "saved". This hurt me as, from my perspective, I didn't see how I wouldn't go to heaven. Overall I was a good kid, so how could I go to hell? This realization pushed me away from church and God.
After graduating from high school I attended my dream school, Michigan State University, to earn a degree in Elementary Education. Don't ask me why, but I always wanted to be a Spartan. I had also been determined, since childhood, to become an elementary school teacher. In my first week as a Spartan I met my best friend! She was different from the other friends I'd had before, and I liked how she always cared about me and accepted me for who I was. I didn't have to worry about her going behind my back or doing something to purposely hurt me. However, as a freshmen, I could tell she was one of the more popular girls who would go out to parties with friends, drink, and smoke. To me she seemed like a typical college girl, just very friendly toward me.
In my Junior year of college I realized that my best friend was becoming a different person, in a good way. She didn't go out partying as much and she spent more time going to a church near campus. She seemed happier, and I couldn't put my finger on what was going on. Our Senior year we ended up getting an apartment together, where I witnessed more of her changes.
Early in my Senior year of college I heard of the unexpected death of someone I knew of in high school. She was doing her student teaching (what I would be doing the next year) when she died of an aneurism (I believe). That information, mixed with my innate ability to worry, started me down a very dark path for the year. I became a hypochondriac, afraid that I had cancer or could die at any time. I also became afraid of things like nuclear war and the sudden end of the world. Thoughts of what it would be like to die were prominent in my mind. I could hide these intense fears well, but I knew that I was not living a quality life. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't seek help.
It was also at this time that my friend became more bold with sharing her church life with me. We would have talks about Jesus and the Bible, which I had believed could've been written by men who were high and making stuff up. However, the changes that were happening within my friend was something I couldn't deny, and I knew it was linked to the Jesus stuff. Close to graduation, my friend and her step-father (who is extremely educated in biblical history) shared with me some of the bibles' history and some of the evidence that showed that there was nothing definitive proving there was no God, and that there was (and is) still too much in question that science cannot definitively answer.
Accepting Christ
Shortly after graduating with my bachelors degree in Elementary Education, I was in the process of moving home. I was still wrestling with the intense fears I'd been having when my friend gave me a copy of the New Testament. While reading it I realized how tiring it was to be in control of my own life, and that I had no idea what was best for me. I was also scared because, after student teaching, I had no idea where life would take me. It was a late June afternoon in 2011 that I chose to surrender my life to Jesus. That summer I read through all of the New Testament (minus Revelations, my friend said that is a tough book to read) and cut out swearing (for the most part). I was also working to be kind towards my friends and family.
When student teaching started I quickly lost the joy of my new found salvation amidst the graduate level coursework and the teaching workload. Soon I found myself back in a dark and lonely place, living back where I had grown up with only a few friends nearby (who were just as busy as I was). One January night I decided to go out with my best friend and a couple of her friends. Everyone was dressing up but I was just not feeling it. I didn't like any of my dresses and just didn't feel like seeing people. When I finally did get out of the house, I was annoyed because I barely knew anyone and I didn't get to spend enough time with my friend. I left that night without telling her I was going. But before I left, another friend of mine told me that she was attending a church called Woodside that she really liked.
I didn't think much about that church until a few weeks later when God made it clear to me that I needed community to help me learn about God. I messaged the girl who told me about it on Facebook to ask her about Woodside and she invited me to join her for their Sunday night Young Adults service called Lighthouse. I took her up on the offer and went to check it out. I was amazed by how exciting the music was and how the message really spoke to me. I was thrilled when they told us that we could join small groups to get to know other people. I signed up that night and found myself a part of a great group comprised of women who shared completely life changing stories of their experiences with God. They were so kind and welcomed me, and I was amazed. I started attending church (especially the Lighthouse services) more regularly and about a month later I signed up to be baptized.
About a month before my baptism I went to the Lighthouse Good Friday service. They had opened the event up to all young adults in the area. I went with one of the girls from my group who said she was meeting up with some of her friends. It was there that I met two men who I later learned had a co-ed small group and they invited me to come. I told my best friend, who was looking for a Christian group to join since moving home from school, to come check it out with me. Within a summer I had a group of amazing friends who are still very dear to me today.
On May 20th, 2012 I was baptized at Woodside Bible Church. My parents, along with my best friend and her family, watched and supported me. It was an amazing experience.
What I've Learned About God
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" Jeremiah 29:11-13
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life; and have it to the full." John 10:10
I have learned so much about God, Jesus, and faith in my walk so far. One of the biggest things I learned about God happened in the summer of 2012. I was doing a book study of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge with the girls in my small group, a book that has and continues to change my life as a woman of God, when I learned that God doesn't just want to save us, that's not the only reason why Jesus came and died on the cross to defeat the grave. It started with this verse:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3
The authors explained it in clearer terms to say:
"God has sent me on a mission. I have some great news for you. God has sent me to restore and release something, and that something is you. I am here to give you back your heart and set you free. I am furious at the Enemy who did this to you, and I will fight against him. Let me comfort you. For, dear one, I will bestow beauty upon you where you have known only devastation, joy, in the places of your deep sorrow. And I will robe your heart in thankful praise in exchange for your resignation and despair." Captivating, pg. 96
This helped me to understand that there was more to Jesus than just salvation and good teaching. He didn't just care about where I ended up, He cares about who I am right now. He wants to take on my pain, my sorrow, my mistakes, my anxiety, my anger, etc. He wants to heal me and perfect me in His image! It was from knowing this that I realized that God doesn't just want my soul, He wants a relationship with me, He wants a relationship with everyone! And this view has made all the difference! People sometimes ask me how I know God is real. It's not because of science (which I believe is how we explore God's creation) or theological proof. My faith in God can never be shaken because I've experienced a relationship as real as the ones I have with my family, friends, and eventually my spouse. Once you've experienced how much God loves you, pursues you, fights for you, soothes you, comforts you, and counsels you then you know God is real! I can't go back, and I don't want to! My life verse, at this point in my life, is:
'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37-39
God has done amazing things in my life, and I have total faith that He will continue to, for His Word says "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6)."
Thank you for reading my testimony! I give God all the praise!
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Through the Eyes of the World
Months ago my best friend wrote something that the Spirit guided her to write and she shared it with me! I thought it was absolutely beautiful and, when I started this blog, I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I shared it. So the following is written by my beautiful, amazing, and Godly friend Emily Rippetoe! May you be encouraged by it.
Through the Eyes of the World
By Emily Rippetoe
Through the eyes of the world, I am not pretty enough.
My hair is not blond enough or dark enough.
It's too short an doesn't have enough body.
Through the eyes of the world my eyes are not fair enough, my skin is not tan enough and I am not skini enough.
I don't have a perfect body and there is fat in places I don't want there to be.
Through the eyes of the world, I am too tall or not tall enough.
I don't dress stylishly enough and the clothes I have don't cost enough.
Through the eyes of the world, I am just another average girl who is never enough to be noticed at all.
But through the eyes of the Lord, I am all of these things:
I am the perfect height. My body is shaped exactly as He designed it and my style is all my own.
Through the eyes of the Lord, my hair is a beautiful shade of rich, warm brown and my eyes dance and smile with a warmth and a light that is unlike any other.
My skin is smooth and creamy and picks up a beautiful glow in the sun.
In the eyes of the Lord, I have curves in all the right places and my height makes me elegent, not awkward.
In the eyes of the Lord, I am so much more than my looks or my appearance.
I am my smile, my light and my love for life.
I am my heart for people, my passion for justice, and a beautiful reflection of God's grace.
In the eyes of the Lord, I am exactly the way I am supposed to be.
God made no mistake when he made me.
I am beautiful.
I am stunning.
I am beyond compare.
And in the eyes of the Lord, I am perfect.
Through the Eyes of the World
By Emily Rippetoe
Through the eyes of the world, I am not pretty enough.
My hair is not blond enough or dark enough.
It's too short an doesn't have enough body.
Through the eyes of the world my eyes are not fair enough, my skin is not tan enough and I am not skini enough.
I don't have a perfect body and there is fat in places I don't want there to be.
Through the eyes of the world, I am too tall or not tall enough.
I don't dress stylishly enough and the clothes I have don't cost enough.
Through the eyes of the world, I am just another average girl who is never enough to be noticed at all.
But through the eyes of the Lord, I am all of these things:
I am the perfect height. My body is shaped exactly as He designed it and my style is all my own.
Through the eyes of the Lord, my hair is a beautiful shade of rich, warm brown and my eyes dance and smile with a warmth and a light that is unlike any other.
My skin is smooth and creamy and picks up a beautiful glow in the sun.
In the eyes of the Lord, I have curves in all the right places and my height makes me elegent, not awkward.
In the eyes of the Lord, I am so much more than my looks or my appearance.
I am my smile, my light and my love for life.
I am my heart for people, my passion for justice, and a beautiful reflection of God's grace.
In the eyes of the Lord, I am exactly the way I am supposed to be.
God made no mistake when he made me.
I am beautiful.
I am stunning.
I am beyond compare.
And in the eyes of the Lord, I am perfect.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Seeking God's Best
"I just want the best that God has for me," I declared one day to a close friend. It had been a year and a half of agonizing toil laced with near debilitating anxiety about whether or not I should follow through and marry the man I had been with. He was a nice, loving, and fun christian man, but I couldn't help feeling like I was missing something for it to be THAT relationship, the one that vows till death do us part. The question that had been gripping me was "Is this God's will for my life?" I brought it up to many of my friends, some of which explained to me that God gives us choices, and He will honor our choices as long as we make those choices with Him at the forefront. I read articles and books on the topic of God's Will, and even sat through several church services about this topic. However, I was still confused. I was making the choice to marry with God at the forefront, but the doubts and anxiety still attacked me.
Finally it hit me when I was talking with a dear friend what I really wanted. God gives us choices, but we can make the choice to seek Him for His best! So I decided to call off the relationship with my then-fiancee and seek God as a single woman for the first time in 2 years. The anxiety fell away as I reached closer and closer to God, and I made the decision, from that point on, to seek God's best in my life.
So what does this look like? It means giving God full control over the biggest and smallest areas of our lives and trusting Him to come through for us. Since I broke up with my ex, I've started praying for my husband, prayers for certain characteristics and a love for Jesus and others, and a heart for family. I also pray for God to give me His best, and to develop me into my husbands' best! I've also started living a life honoring both to him and Jesus by staying away from exclusive hangouts with men and keeping myself pure of mind and body. As another means of preparing myself for my husband and serving my Lord, I've placed my focus in loving the friends and family around me that God has blessed me with, friends and family that are definitely God's best for me!
My current area of asking for God's best is in terms of my career. Currently I'm studying for my masters in counseling. I knew I was in the right program, but with so many areas I could go into I wasn't sure where would be best for me. So I turned to God for His best and He's been leading me. I don't know exactly what it is yet, but I know that it's something that will allow me to separate work and home life so I can serve in church and be a good wife and mother (if that's what God calls me to, which I believe it is). I feel like He's saying to me, "Don't let your job be your identity, and don't think that what I'm asking you to do career wise is small. You will do bigger things, but not necessarily for money." And so once more I trust Him, knowing that I've asked for God's best and trusting Him to give me just that! I look forward to updating you when that happens, but for now I can say that my choice to trust God and be single once more was God's best in my life, and I know this season will not go wasted.
Remember, you have choices, but you can either choose what you think is best or to trust God on what He knows is best. Choose wisely, and know that God loves you no matter what you choose!
Finally it hit me when I was talking with a dear friend what I really wanted. God gives us choices, but we can make the choice to seek Him for His best! So I decided to call off the relationship with my then-fiancee and seek God as a single woman for the first time in 2 years. The anxiety fell away as I reached closer and closer to God, and I made the decision, from that point on, to seek God's best in my life.
So what does this look like? It means giving God full control over the biggest and smallest areas of our lives and trusting Him to come through for us. Since I broke up with my ex, I've started praying for my husband, prayers for certain characteristics and a love for Jesus and others, and a heart for family. I also pray for God to give me His best, and to develop me into my husbands' best! I've also started living a life honoring both to him and Jesus by staying away from exclusive hangouts with men and keeping myself pure of mind and body. As another means of preparing myself for my husband and serving my Lord, I've placed my focus in loving the friends and family around me that God has blessed me with, friends and family that are definitely God's best for me!
My current area of asking for God's best is in terms of my career. Currently I'm studying for my masters in counseling. I knew I was in the right program, but with so many areas I could go into I wasn't sure where would be best for me. So I turned to God for His best and He's been leading me. I don't know exactly what it is yet, but I know that it's something that will allow me to separate work and home life so I can serve in church and be a good wife and mother (if that's what God calls me to, which I believe it is). I feel like He's saying to me, "Don't let your job be your identity, and don't think that what I'm asking you to do career wise is small. You will do bigger things, but not necessarily for money." And so once more I trust Him, knowing that I've asked for God's best and trusting Him to give me just that! I look forward to updating you when that happens, but for now I can say that my choice to trust God and be single once more was God's best in my life, and I know this season will not go wasted.
Remember, you have choices, but you can either choose what you think is best or to trust God on what He knows is best. Choose wisely, and know that God loves you no matter what you choose!
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