Yesterday, on a beautiful autumn day filled with sunshine, I walked along the road in my neighborhood. Only, my emotions were not lining up with the day. I felt so alone after spending the day with friends, many of whom were coupled up. It's been about 2 months now since I called off my engagement, and overall God has been using it to do amazing things in my life. However, my desire for my husband is still strong. I had been doing so well in my walk until a few days ago, including this particular day. I knew I'd hit a bump in the road eventually, it was only a matter of time. And on this day, as I walked along the road with shoulders slumped and a heavy weight on my heart, I felt alone.
Many of my christian friends have said that God needs to be enough for us, He is the only one who can provide exactly what we need. I've even preached it myself a few times. And now I needed to know that this was the truth. And so I prayed:
"God, you've said that you are enough for me, you are the portion I need. Please show me right now that you are just that, please reveal to me your presence and love. I need to know that you are enough. I need you."
I pleaded and I hoped. I waited for God to come through on His word. I kept walking in silence, and with each step I felt hope begin to stir inside me. Slowly, God began to show me all the ways He had come through for me, how He showed He knows me better than I know myself. And I once again heard His whispered promise that I would have a marriage and family and that it would be worth the wait. And even more than that, I felt His smile and the reassurance of His love for me. And so I said, "God, I trust you. I don't know how everything works out, and you and I both know that I don't know what's best for me. So I trust you and have faith that you will come through on your promises for me." And I knew in that moment that He loved me, and was proud of me for the faith I was showing in Him. He won't forget me, I know it full well. Once again He came through, He showed up to help His dear princess. My loneliness melted away and I felt that peace and confidence taking it's place once more. I know that in His timing He will bring me the desire of my heart which He has placed there. And even then I know that He is enough, and He always will be!
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Saturday, September 20, 2014
You Are Beautiful
The other day was absolutely lovely. The sky was a clear blue, there was a slight breeze, and the sun was shining brightly. It was so beautiful, in fact, that when I had my break at work I just had to go out and be a part of it! So I took a walk and put my mind on God's beauty and, as it would turn out, that was the topic He wanted me to meditate on.
God has been teaching me a lot about beauty lately. I've been making it a point to slow down during the day and take in the goodness of the nature He's created, and I absolutely love sitting at the piano and putting a series of chords together and hearing the beautiful music that resonates throughout the house. But the best kind of beauty I've found is the one that He's shown me in myself! For a girl who could never wrap her mind around the word "beautiful" as belonging to her, this is a big step. At first I thought it was a mistake, but when we're talking about God we quickly learn that He's the only one that doesn't make mistakes. And in the past two months He's blessed me with a peace and confidence in my beauty that now I can't describe myself any other way. Sure, I'm not perfect, but I know I'm His work of art that is His to perfect, not mine. I've found that my striving to be perfect doesn't get me anywhere, but when I've surrendered all of myself to Him I've realized that He does the work that I alone can't do. God is the beautiful creator and perfector, the most amazing artist of them all!
So as I was walking in a place of peace and confidence in my beauty surrounded by nature's beauty, the question came upon me, "Why is it so hard for people to realize their beauty?". Then I thought of the world, and how our American society defines beauty. And the sad thing I've found is that through their provocative magazine covers, perfect air brushed and fixed up movie stars and models, tips and tricks for the perfect hair and make up, and an endless stream of workout exercises to try, that the world has confused the definition of beauty and made it synonymous with "sexy". This is such a sad mistake, that we describe ourselves as women as "hot" and "sexy" rather than "beautiful", and the former is more desirable of an effect than the latter. These words do not share the same meaning! When we describe a woman as "hot" and "sexy" what we're really saying is that they look like an object that's desirable for sex. Let me reiterate, the words "hot" and "sexy" are really saying that we're an object that's desirable for sex. That's it. Why are we letting these words describe how a PERSON looks and confusing it with who they are? Because they don't describe the person at all! Instead they change the person into an object!! How horrifying! And the make up, clothing, and shoes that add to this effect are simply accessories that work to make the object more desirable.
The fascinating thing is that today many women (including myself) struggle with comparison of looks, and many of them reach the same sad conclusion... they aren't good enough. How many of us have said that about ourselves? And what we're really saying, what we've been made to believe, is that God messed up. That you aren't a piece of His breathtaking artwork. Now before you jump to blaming yourself realize that we've all been under attack by the same Enemy who has been patiently working throughout the years both in us and our society to get us here. It's not your fault, but it is a battle that you have to face with God. And it CAN be won, and I know this because I'm standing here today in a place of victory! I'm at the top of this mountain with God and I work daily to defend my ground against the one who tries to creep up and take back the ground that he lost. But God has prepared me, and He won't let me lose this battle! And if you ask Him, He can do the same for you. You know why? Because you really are worth it!!
The thing that's interesting about real beauty is that it needs no comparison. When I see a woman dressed provocatively I notice her body and how her clothing accentuates it, her hair, her perfect make up and shoes, and I sadly think, "I don't look anything like that." I compare. But when I see a woman going about her daily business wearing something that reflects who she is, and she walks with a peace and confidence that shows she will not be seen as an object, I find myself thinking, "She's beautiful". And you know what? I don't compare myself, I just appreciate the beauty. Beauty needs no comparison, because there's no such thing as too much beauty! When I go out shopping with women I care about and they try on something and it just looks ok I tell them, "That ____ doesn't really show off your beauty. You're too beautiful for that." You may read this and go, "Jenn, how can your friends take you seriously when you say that? It doesn't sound like you're being sincere." I am being sincere though, and while my friends at first laughed at me, they've realized that what I'm saying is true and that I value their beauty, I value the person they are. It's not the clothing or accessory that make the person, it's the person that showcases the clothing or accessory.
What's amazing, too, is that beauty also transcends time. It's not limited to your peak physically, a woman who is truly beautiful will shine through her 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, every day until she comes to rest with the Lord! One of my favorite things is seeing an older couple with wrinkles and gray hair walking hand in hand together, with big smiles on their faces and a look between them that radiates their love. And I find that absolutely stunning! My grandma, who is in her 70s and battling ALS is truly beautiful! And it's not because of the clothes she wears, it's her smile, her joyful eyes, and her loving nature that show that she's lived a great life filled with so much love, laughter, and adventure. She is someone who, for as long as I've known her, has been comfortable and happy in who she is! She hasn't tried to be someone she's not. My mother, her daughter, is another shining example of beauty, and it comes from confidence and happiness in her life and who she is. She doesn't compare herself to others, she just lives the life she loves without feeling pressure to conform to society or a need to perfect herself.
As women, let's stop describing others as "hot" and "sexy" (even when being sarcastic with friends), and start helping each woman around us discover the beauty of God and the beauty in themselves. Let's stand up and fight for them when they are too tired to fight, and let's lift them up at every opportunity and encourage them to be who they are! And if no one else will say it, I will, "You're beautiful!" I may not know who you are, but I've seen beauty in every woman I've met and I know my God who makes no mistakes, and that's enough for me to know that you are in fact incredible beautiful!
God says:
1. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
2. "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7 (Absolutely love this! No doubt God believes we're beautiful!)
And so I will thank my God and say, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
Ask God today to show you your beauty! He would love nothing more than to give His beloved daughter exactly that!
God has been teaching me a lot about beauty lately. I've been making it a point to slow down during the day and take in the goodness of the nature He's created, and I absolutely love sitting at the piano and putting a series of chords together and hearing the beautiful music that resonates throughout the house. But the best kind of beauty I've found is the one that He's shown me in myself! For a girl who could never wrap her mind around the word "beautiful" as belonging to her, this is a big step. At first I thought it was a mistake, but when we're talking about God we quickly learn that He's the only one that doesn't make mistakes. And in the past two months He's blessed me with a peace and confidence in my beauty that now I can't describe myself any other way. Sure, I'm not perfect, but I know I'm His work of art that is His to perfect, not mine. I've found that my striving to be perfect doesn't get me anywhere, but when I've surrendered all of myself to Him I've realized that He does the work that I alone can't do. God is the beautiful creator and perfector, the most amazing artist of them all!
So as I was walking in a place of peace and confidence in my beauty surrounded by nature's beauty, the question came upon me, "Why is it so hard for people to realize their beauty?". Then I thought of the world, and how our American society defines beauty. And the sad thing I've found is that through their provocative magazine covers, perfect air brushed and fixed up movie stars and models, tips and tricks for the perfect hair and make up, and an endless stream of workout exercises to try, that the world has confused the definition of beauty and made it synonymous with "sexy". This is such a sad mistake, that we describe ourselves as women as "hot" and "sexy" rather than "beautiful", and the former is more desirable of an effect than the latter. These words do not share the same meaning! When we describe a woman as "hot" and "sexy" what we're really saying is that they look like an object that's desirable for sex. Let me reiterate, the words "hot" and "sexy" are really saying that we're an object that's desirable for sex. That's it. Why are we letting these words describe how a PERSON looks and confusing it with who they are? Because they don't describe the person at all! Instead they change the person into an object!! How horrifying! And the make up, clothing, and shoes that add to this effect are simply accessories that work to make the object more desirable.
The fascinating thing is that today many women (including myself) struggle with comparison of looks, and many of them reach the same sad conclusion... they aren't good enough. How many of us have said that about ourselves? And what we're really saying, what we've been made to believe, is that God messed up. That you aren't a piece of His breathtaking artwork. Now before you jump to blaming yourself realize that we've all been under attack by the same Enemy who has been patiently working throughout the years both in us and our society to get us here. It's not your fault, but it is a battle that you have to face with God. And it CAN be won, and I know this because I'm standing here today in a place of victory! I'm at the top of this mountain with God and I work daily to defend my ground against the one who tries to creep up and take back the ground that he lost. But God has prepared me, and He won't let me lose this battle! And if you ask Him, He can do the same for you. You know why? Because you really are worth it!!
The thing that's interesting about real beauty is that it needs no comparison. When I see a woman dressed provocatively I notice her body and how her clothing accentuates it, her hair, her perfect make up and shoes, and I sadly think, "I don't look anything like that." I compare. But when I see a woman going about her daily business wearing something that reflects who she is, and she walks with a peace and confidence that shows she will not be seen as an object, I find myself thinking, "She's beautiful". And you know what? I don't compare myself, I just appreciate the beauty. Beauty needs no comparison, because there's no such thing as too much beauty! When I go out shopping with women I care about and they try on something and it just looks ok I tell them, "That ____ doesn't really show off your beauty. You're too beautiful for that." You may read this and go, "Jenn, how can your friends take you seriously when you say that? It doesn't sound like you're being sincere." I am being sincere though, and while my friends at first laughed at me, they've realized that what I'm saying is true and that I value their beauty, I value the person they are. It's not the clothing or accessory that make the person, it's the person that showcases the clothing or accessory.
What's amazing, too, is that beauty also transcends time. It's not limited to your peak physically, a woman who is truly beautiful will shine through her 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, every day until she comes to rest with the Lord! One of my favorite things is seeing an older couple with wrinkles and gray hair walking hand in hand together, with big smiles on their faces and a look between them that radiates their love. And I find that absolutely stunning! My grandma, who is in her 70s and battling ALS is truly beautiful! And it's not because of the clothes she wears, it's her smile, her joyful eyes, and her loving nature that show that she's lived a great life filled with so much love, laughter, and adventure. She is someone who, for as long as I've known her, has been comfortable and happy in who she is! She hasn't tried to be someone she's not. My mother, her daughter, is another shining example of beauty, and it comes from confidence and happiness in her life and who she is. She doesn't compare herself to others, she just lives the life she loves without feeling pressure to conform to society or a need to perfect herself.
As women, let's stop describing others as "hot" and "sexy" (even when being sarcastic with friends), and start helping each woman around us discover the beauty of God and the beauty in themselves. Let's stand up and fight for them when they are too tired to fight, and let's lift them up at every opportunity and encourage them to be who they are! And if no one else will say it, I will, "You're beautiful!" I may not know who you are, but I've seen beauty in every woman I've met and I know my God who makes no mistakes, and that's enough for me to know that you are in fact incredible beautiful!
God says:
1. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
2. "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7 (Absolutely love this! No doubt God believes we're beautiful!)
And so I will thank my God and say, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
Ask God today to show you your beauty! He would love nothing more than to give His beloved daughter exactly that!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Love Like It's Goodbye
How often do you appreciate those around you? How often do you drink in every moment you have with them? How thankful are you for every day, hour, moment you have with family, friends, co-workers, significant others? I know I'm guilty of it, both with the people I see every day to the people I only have the privilege to see every so often.
With my grandmother's gradually progressing ALS, it's weighed on me every time I see her that it might be the last. Maybe this is the last chance I have to spend time with her. Maybe this is the last time I get to tell her how much I love her. My love for her has new urgency like it's never have before. I don't view my mom that way, but life doesn't always work so that we leave in the same order we arrived. My mom could die tomorrow in a car accident and my grandmother would still be alive. And then how foolish would I feel. If my mom, or dad, or one of my siblings, my closest friends, one of the children I work with, died tomorrow I would be a wreck. The regret would would devastate me. And I'd be left with nothing but memories and wishes that I had taken advantage of the time I was given with them.
Throughout the past month I've been discovering God in ways I hadn't realized previously, and tonight He laid this idea on my heart. Ok, laid isn't the right word. He dropped this idea on my heart like a huge elephant being dropped off of the high dive. This is what Jesus' love was all about! He didn't go healing each person thinking, "Ok, once I heal this guy I'm going to go preach about this idea, and I can't forget to catch up with my disciples to teach them about it because they never seem to understand my teachings. And once I do all that I'll finally get away and get some peace and quiet." He didn't treat people like they were a roadblock in his way throughout his day. He loved them by drinking in every moment and enjoying the time he had with them! He didn't die on the cross just so he could finish this earth business and go back to being in heaven with the Father. He did it because he believed we were worth dying for!
If we look at some passages in scripture we see that the people Jesus praised the most were those that just drank in every moment enjoying him:
"While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. 'Why this waste?' they asked. 'This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.' Aware of this, Jesus said to them, 'Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.'" -Matthew 26:6-13
"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work myself? Tell her to help me!' 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" -Luke 10:38-42
Both of these stories share a common idea. Both Mary and the woman with the perfume are focusing their attention on the person they love, Jesus. The woman with the perfume has even understood that these are the last moments she will get to spend with the Lord in person! Yes, these stories show how we should love Jesus and make him our life, but I think there's another message here. Jesus was the example, and his main commandments were to love God with all our heart, mind, body, and spirit, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. When it comes to being loved by others, do you want people to give half their attention to you when they're with you? Do you want them to get through their time with you as efficiently as possible so they can do whatever they have to do next? Or just skip over you entirely? Or do you want people to appreciate and enjoy every moment they have with you? Do you want them to make loving you their sole priority? Do you want to be a priority to them? Do you want them to love you like you were on your death bed every time they saw you? After you've thought about this, consider how you treat others around you. Do you love them and appreciate them like it was your last day with them? I'm as guilty as anyone else.
I think what God has been showing me is that this is what it means to love like Christ. No day is a guarantee for you or anyone you know and love. It's also not a guarantee for any strangers you might meet along the way. When Christ was walking on the earth he knew when his last day was, but even that didn't stop him from loving and serving others as if it was. And think about this, when Jesus was dying on the cross there were several women who stayed the entire time, drinking in every last moment. Jesus challenges us to drink in every moment we have with people, no matter how close they are to us. Make every person who crosses our path feel comforted knowing that they were worth our time.
May God help us to approach each day with these two goals of focus: 1) To appreciate and enjoy every moment God has given you on this earth in His creation and the relationship He wants with you through, and 2) To love, appreciate, and enjoy every moment spent with the people He's put in your life. Let's stop the rushing in our lives to realize what we're missing. Slow down.
Love without regrets. Love everyone like you were saying goodbye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)