He's Enough

Yesterday, on a beautiful autumn day filled with sunshine, I walked along the road in my neighborhood.  Only, my emotions were not lining up with the day.  I felt so alone after spending the day with friends, many of whom were coupled up.  It's been about 2 months now since I called off my engagement, and overall God has been using it to do amazing things in my life.  However, my desire for my husband is still strong.  I had been doing so well in my walk until a few days ago, including this particular day.  I knew I'd hit a bump in the road eventually, it was only a matter of time.  And on this day, as I walked along the road with shoulders slumped and a heavy weight on my heart, I felt alone.

Many of my christian friends have said that God needs to be enough for us, He is the only one who can provide exactly what we need.  I've even preached it myself a few times.  And now I needed to know that this was the truth.  And so I prayed:

"God, you've said that you are enough for me, you are the portion I need.  Please show me right now that you are just that, please reveal to me your presence and love.  I need to know that you are enough.  I need you."

I pleaded and I hoped.  I waited for God to come through on His word.  I kept walking in silence, and with each step I felt hope begin to stir inside me.  Slowly, God began to show me all the ways He had come through for me, how He showed He knows me better than I know myself.  And I once again heard His whispered promise that I would have a marriage and family and that it would be worth the wait.  And even more than that, I felt His smile and the reassurance of His love for me.  And so I said, "God, I trust you.  I don't know how everything works out, and you and I both know that I don't know what's best for me.  So I trust you and have faith that you will come through on your promises for me."  And I knew in that moment that He loved me, and was proud of me for the faith I was showing in Him.  He won't forget me, I know it full well.  Once again He came through, He showed up to help His dear princess.  My loneliness melted away and I felt that peace and confidence taking it's place once more.  I know that in His timing He will bring me the desire of my heart which He has placed there.  And even then I know that He is enough, and He always will be!