Follow Me

All around me is darkness, and a cold and bitter wind bites at me.  Within me I can't shake the feeling like something is terribly wrong, and I can't take another step.  How did I get here?  What happened?  I had felt so confident before.  The path looked steady and my feet felt sure.  But with each step forward I took the light began to fade until all that is around me is darkness.  I feel trapped, I need to get out, but I don't know what to do.  I can't move forward anymore!  Let me get a better look at where I came from, let me turn around.

To my surprise there's a man there, with a hole in each hand and a crown of thorns.  His smile takes my fear away and warmth floods within me.
"Who are you?" I ask, although a part of me feels like I know the answer.
"I am the one He gave so that you may have eternal life, and I have come to save you," the man says. "How did you find me?" I ask, bewildered.
"I have been following you all this time, but you were only looking ahead so you could not see me.  I knew your path would get difficult and that someday you would turn around."  A peace fills my heart, but I need one more question answered.
"Why do you care so much to save me?  All I've done is made mistakes?" The darkness begins to flood in again as I feel completely unworthy of such an offer.  I made a mistake, I deserve to pay for it.
"Because my Father created you!  He knows every hair on your head, every word you've ever spoken, and everything you've yet to do.  Even now He knows you're at an impasse.  He loves you so much that He sent me to die on a cross so you can have everlasting life.  You have done nothing to deserve this gift, but it is one freely given by one who loves you so unconditionally.  And He sent me to follow and watch over you.  And now, if you so choose, I can save you and guide you to the life and purpose He has made you for.  Will you choose to follow me?  Or will you take another step into the darkness?"  He speaks so kindly and his eyes glisten with care and concern.  His smile and his words tell me I can trust him, but I know he won't force me either.  He wants me to do this of my own free will.  He wants my love and trust.  But can I give it?  The road before me looks so bleak, and I'm tired of trying to control where my feet go.  And if God created me and loves me enough to send this man standing before me to die for me so that I may be clean and have a new life, then what do I have to lose?

I fall to my knees as the tears overcome their barriers and stream down my cheeks.  I have a second chance, one I don't deserve, and the amount of love I've been shown is more than I can bear.
"I choose to follow you," I sob, "I choose to let you save me and lead me.  I give up controlling where I go, I want what you want for me.  I surrender everything to you."  I continue to cry but a warm hand rests gently on my shoulder.  I look up to see the brightest, most tender and beautiful smile I have seen this man give yet.
"I have waited so patiently for you to say those words, and myself and my Father in heaven along with all His angels are celebrating.  If you listen closely you can hear them singing and rejoicing, praising my Father that He saves the lost sheep.  Because you have surrendered to me and believe that I have come to save you I now wash you clean with my blood, and your mistakes are forgiven.  Remember this place that you are in right now, for you'll need it to help others who are also lost in the darkness, but know that the darkness no longer has a hold on you.  You are mine, and I love you.  Now stand up and follow me."

The man envelopes me in the warmest hug I've ever known, and the darkness that threatened to creep into me is blasted away.  I'm not alone, and I'm not my own.  The darkness can no longer hold me.  And as my feet follow the man before me I look over his shoulder and see light.  I don't know where we're going, but I trust Jesus to lead me.  And for a moment he looks over his should and smiles at me before telling me, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and give you a future.  You are safe with me."

Know God. Know You. Know Love!

I've written about my battle with anxiety for a long time, and it has been working to deteriorate my belief and understanding in who I am.  Even worse, I struggled to identify who God was.  When you don't know these two things, you are pretty lost.

Through my emotional roller-coaster of the last year I came to see myself as a failure.  I had failed to be the amazing teacher I thought I would be and felt as though I had completely failed my students.  My fiance and I struggled with physical boundaries and every time we messed up I felt like a failure again.  Every time my anxiety acted up I felt like I was a failure because I couldn't think positively and keep it under control.  Satan had made me a captive of failure.  And because of it, I felt like I wasn't good enough for God or good enough for others.  I even felt like a failure because I didn't have confidence in or know who I was anymore.

Thankfully our God won't stand for this, and He wants us to know who He is and know the love that He provides.  It's sometimes difficult to understand God when you see Him in the old and new testaments.  As several friends pointed out to me, the God of the old testament died when Jesus died on the cross and rose again.  The God of the new testament is where we must look to understand Him.  A mentor of mine showed me a very familiar verse that goes, "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)."  God is also love, so if you replace the word "love" with "God", all of a sudden you can begin to see who He is.  Sometimes we see this verse as how we should love others, and don't get me wrong, it's a great guideline.  The problem is, this is perfect, unconditional love that we can't do by ourselves.  We need God to help us love.    Suddenly I began to really see God as a kind God, one who doesn't seek to punish me and put me in hell, but one who seeks to love me!

God also showed me some mistaken views that I'd had of Him through the help of my friends, scripture, and a vision.  In our educational system, we're taught that in order to show we can do something and be successful that we need to pick the one right answer out of several wrong answers.  Pick the right answer and you are successful, pick the wrong answer and you need to do better because you didn't meet expectations.  This line of thinking can be especially dangerous when considering big life decisions, such as who you will marry.  I had believed that God wanted me to make all the right choices to complete the life that He had planned for me.  When facing the decision of whether or not to marry my fiance this made me extremely anxious.  I feared making the wrong decision and ending up in what I falsely believed was a huge failure, divorce.  Fortunately I have some awesome friends who know more than me who helped to show me that God has presented an option to me, one that He will bless me both if I take it or if I decide not to take it.  Marriage is the process of two imperfect people learning to love each other unconditionally.  I now know that both choices are right and line up with the purpose that He has for me.  This was confirmed by a vision God showed me of a big tree.  It had a big trunk and many branches that stemmed from it, and they all went straight up.  Some branches had smaller branches that emerged from it and they too pointed upward.  God showed me that each break in the branches represented choices that God would allow me to make, and whatever I chose I would still be with Him in heaven because I'm seeking Christ and desire to love and serve Him, so therefore I keep climbing upward.  There will always be both good and bad consequences with any choice, but as long as we seek God He will bless our decisions.  I have a few friends who are single mothers.  Each made a choice to have sex before marriage with people they weren't going to marry in a lower point in their lives.  But God loves His daughters very much, and He blessed each of them with beautiful and wonderful children who are joys to their lives and, in many ways, saved them from the road they were going down to seek a better journey with Christ!  Even more amazingly, He's blessed each of them with God-loving, strong men in their lives who love their children and want to spend their lives serving God with them!  How amazing God is!  This gives me confidence that no matter what happens, my life will be good because of God!

God also showed me how He sees me.  I was nervous at first because I felt I wasn't measuring up to what He wanted me to do or be.  But He answered me in such an amazing way!  He said I was His masterpiece, His daughter, His princess.  That I'm beautiful and captivating, a strong warrior fighting for His Kingdom.  He sees me as wonderful, and He loves me so much!  He showed me that I'm not a failure because I have Christ, who was not a failure.  He conquered the grave and washed me clean with his blood.  Because Jesus is a success, I am a success.  And God is still working on me, an already beautiful piece of art that is getting more beautiful with each brush stroke.  He knows the desires He's put in my heart and knows what makes me happy.  It's hard not to feel loved when you hear that!  God took me back to the early months of my relationship with my fiance and showed me how much love I felt from him when I felt like Jesus was showing his love to me through my man.  It was such strong and believable love, nothing I had ever felt before!  Then God took me to the recent past and had me compare how I felt.  I would have a difficult time receiving my fiance's love and had a hard time believing what he said about me.  I also realized that I wasn't seeing Jesus' love shining through because I didn't know God's love for me.  Satan had put me behind bars and made me believe I wasn't worth loving, that I would just hurt people.  When I agreed with him it was so difficult to accept the love I was being shown.  Now God is setting me free and I can see clearly now.  The truth will indeed set you free and I look forward now, more than ever, to what God has for me!  


How important it is to know and understand who God is, understand how God sees you (He's better than any mirror), and understand the love He has for you and why He wants you to share it with others.  So ask God today to show you who He is and who you are in Him, and get ready to feel the amazing love He has for you!

Avoiding Idols

If you've ever read scripture that talks about idols, you probably think of golden statues of various forms that the Israelites would sometimes pray to.  You may also have noticed scripture's many warnings about avoiding idols.  To us it may seem pretty simple, pray to God and not to statues.  However, like many things in our modern world, idols can be sneaky and confusing.

An idol is anything that we spend most of our time focused on and what we turn to the most that we place as a higher importance than God.  They can creep up on you, and can start as a blessing that we push to a higher status.

Recently my fiancee pointed out to me that I had made him an idol in my life and had put him on this pedestal.  At first it seemed crazy but, when I really thought about it, I knew he was right.  My fiancee is the answer to one of my heart's greatest desires, and he's something that I've always wanted- someone to love who loves me in return.  Sometimes I take the blessing of his love too far and, instead of turning to God for His joy, love, and strength, I'll turn to my fiancee for those things.  I also know he's become an idol in my life when I hold him to an unrealistically high standard and want to control him to make him the man I want him to be.  Thankfully this usually backfires on me.  These are all signs that I've made him my idol.  Thankfully, God is very merciful and convicts me of it without taking my fiancee from me and giving me the opportunity to try again and do better.

My fiancee is just one example of something I sometimes put higher than God.  For some people it's sports, or friends, or money (ALERT: big one mentioned in the Bible.  You can't serve God and money), or control, or a job, etc.  Anything in this world can become an idol if we focus on it so much that it comes above our God.  As the hymn goes, "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand".  Putting anything above God will cause you to stand on sinking sand.  Thankfully God is merciful and will give us another chance to do better!  Monitor yourself and where you spend most of your time in thought and action, and you'll have a much better chance of supporting yourself on the rock that is Christ.

May God always be with you!

Steps of Faith

When I first became a Christian at 22 years old, I believed that my transformation would be a big immediate one.  When this didn't happen, I began to wrestle with my faith.  Was God there?  Didn't He want something more for me?  Do I have the Spirit I was promised?  I can honestly say that it added to some of my anxiety.  I wanted a change for the better, and I wanted it now.  Someone recently told me, "The root of anxiety is perfection".  It's so true for me, most of my anxiety stems from my desire to be perfect.  I want to be the perfect Christian, perfect worker, perfect wife, perfect person.  I've put so much unnecessary pressure on myself in my desire to get closer to "perfect".  So when my anxiety started to get persistent and difficult to deal with I wanted to get fixed fast.  I looked for whatever I had to do to get rid of it, to get my personality closer to perfect.  I tried prayers, books, fasting, diet change, etc.  Nothing would get rid of it.

During my fast with my fiancee a few weeks ago, my amazing man said something to me that stuck, "You have to step out with faith, you need to take the leap and trust God."  I had to trust that everything would be ok and that God had me.  It worked really well for about a week, and then I began to falter when fighting symptoms of anxiety.  God then showed me that stepping out in faith isn't a one time fix, I have to make the choice daily to walk in faith and trust God above all else.  I have to give Him my worries and then be still, knowing that He is God (Psalm 46:10).

This also means letting go of my desire for perfection.  Only one person is perfect, Jesus.  I can become more Christ-like by walking in faith, but I will never become Christ.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."  Christ covers my weaknesses and imperfections in His strengths.  I should delight in being imperfect because it shines Christ's power.  Everyday I need to let go of my desire to be as perfect as I can be, and focus on Christ and His amazing perfection which covers my weaknesses.

So be still, don't strive, and let Christ cover your weaknesses and gain your strength through Him.  He is God, and He knows what He's doing!

Thanking the Little Things

How often do you thank God?  Do you thank Him for the big things in your life or do you thank Him for all the little things?  How thankful is your heart?  It's really easy to thank God when something big happens; you get the job you wanted, are brought together with the love of your life, find a church that you really like, get a new car.  It's right that we should be thankful for these things, they show us and others how great God's love is!  But what about on those ho-hum days where its business as usual and nothing exciting happens.  Or worse, on those days where it's hard to find something that will go your way and you find yourself very annoyed or upset.  We may not think to thank God on days like that because those are the days when we don't really appreciate what we have.  Sure, we can say that we appreciate it, but our attitude and our thoughts will give us away.  You're thankful that you have a job in an economy like this, but you don't enjoy going and look forward to punching out and heading home.  That's not a sign of a truly thankful heart.  And I, like you, can be guilty of this myself.

Why is it important to be thankful on those days when we don't truly appreciate what we have?  God blesses us everyday, even on the days that we don't feel like He's blessing us.  He wants to know that we appreciate Him and appreciate the work that He's doing within us.  Also, the best way to have a truly joyful heart is to love with all your heart and to be thankful for everything that God is doing in your life.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (NIV)."  It is God's will for us to be thankful in all circumstances.  Psalm 107:1 even says, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (NIV)."  These are just two verses out of many that talk of thanking God, having a thankful heart, and thanking Him in ALL circumstances.  And notice how in these verses it doesn't say, "Give thanks when God does something really awesome", or "Give thanks when you feel really happy and things are good".  It says to give thanks all the time for everything.  Right now my grandma is battling ALS, a horrible, gradually debilitating battle that we know she will eventually lose in a few years barring Godly intervention.  It would be really easy for me to get angry at God and say that He's not a good God because He's doing this to someone who doesn't deserve it.  I could feel like there's nothing to be thankful for.  But that's not how I feel, not at all.  I'm thankful that I've had 25+ years with my grandma when some people don't even get to meet theirs.  I'm thankful that she's lived a very full life, full of love from family, friends, and a loyal husband of 50+ years.  I'm thankful that she still has full use of all of her limbs and can go out golfing for at least one more season.  I'm thankful that I'll get to have her at my wedding, or that she'll at least be able to see me try on wedding dresses.  And I'm thankful that she and my mom have time to heal past wounds and build a stronger relationship than they've ever had.  And it's because of this point of view and this thankfulness that I'm actually filled with joy.  When she passes away I know that she'll have few regrets, as will I.

So how do we practice thankfulness in everyday life?  First, we need to be in prayer and communication with God.  And we don't have to wait till the end of the day to thank Him for something.  If something good happens to me I'll thank Him right then and there privately.  I also keep a blessings journal to remind me to think about my blessings from the one who loves me the most.  Somedays I can only get three things: I'm still alive, I have Jesus, I worked.  Somedays it's a lot more.  Everyone can find at least one blessing from their day, it just takes thinking about it and sometimes considering a different point of view.  We can also thank the people in our lives for things on a daily basis.  Whenever someone, friend/family/fiancee/stranger, does something nice for me or helps me I thank them genuinely.  Sometimes I'll even write letters to let people know how much I appreciate them.  

What will you thank God for today?  How's your perspective on your daily blessings?  God has blessed us all, we just need to recognize our blessings! 

Love Yourself

If you've ever struggled with low self esteem, a big failure, anxiety, or depression (or anything related), you know how difficult it can be to see yourself in a good light.  You spend a lot of time blaming yourself and putting yourself down with thoughts like, "Why would anyone ever love me?" "I'm too much this or that", "I don't have anything to offer".  And many times, if you're struggling with self ruminating thoughts and putting yourself down, personal hygiene and upkeep takes a dive.  You can quickly slip into this dark hole that becomes very difficult to get out of.  And some Christian views don't help either.  Some of us are told that God is greater than us, that we shouldn't love ourselves because God comes first and foremost, etc.  This can be a very damaging message to many people.

This past weekend I was once again struggling with my anxiety, and it was pulling me fast into the hole mentioned above.  And, if I'm honest, I didn't really put up much of a fight.  And it was making it difficult for me to love or appreciate anyone around me, especially my fiancee.  Then God put lyrics into my heart from a musical I enjoy.  A man, still hurt from his break-up with his ex, tells her, "You'll never share your love until you love yourself".  This was confirmed by what I read in a book titled Waking the Dead by John Eldredge that explained that loving yourself and appreciating everything that God put into you and living from your whole heart actually brings glory to God.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own.  You were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies (NIV)".  Paul is speaking of sexual immorality here but I have to believe there is more to it than just that.  He says our bodies are temples, and we must honor God with them.  Is it honoring to God to sit on my but all day and indulge in everything unhealthy to ruin the body that He gave me?  Is it honoring to sit around and nit pick every negative detail of my so there is no sense of beauty to me whatsoever?  I have to think that the answer is no.  I'm not my own, I was bought with a price, so I need to take care of myself.  Proverbs 4:23 speaks of the importance of the heart of a person, saying, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (NIV)".  If my heart is empty of love for myself, how can it hold love for others?  And if my heart is empty, haven't I failed to protect it?  It sure is hard to do anything when your heart feels empty or sad.  We need to love ourselves, specifically, we need to love the person we are with Jesus.  Don't love the old self for it must die and it is worth nothing without Christ.  But the self who seeks to serve the Kingdom and holds the Holy Spirit within them, the self that loves and appreciates everything that God has blessed them with (body, soul, spirit, gifts, talents, interests, etc.), that self must be loved in order to love God and others.

With this new message in mind yesterday, I took the time to sit down and start playing the piano and singing again.  It's been a while because, with my anxiety, there's not a whole lot I feel motivated to do.  If only I could describe how my spirit came alive, the joy that filled me that had been missing, and the intense love for God I felt I would.  I felt like a whole new person as I taught myself a new song on the piano and sang, utilizing the talents and interests that God gave to me!  And then today God charged me with taking better care of my body, motivating me to make better choices in what I eat and creating an exercise plan for myself.  I realized how important it is to take care of my body for Christ.  I need a spirit of humble joy and love for myself in order for me to fully walk with Christ and love the people around me.

If you find yourself slipping into a dark and hateful hole I pray that God grabs hold of your hand and starts telling you how to love yourself.  Take some time to indulge in a talent or gift that God has given to you, make better choices for your body, do something that brings your heart true joy!  Loving ourselves in Christ and living out the full glory God intended for us is one of the greatest ways we can worship Him and show thanksgiving!  Love yourself, because believe me, you're someone worth loving!

Love is Hard

What do you think about when you hear the word love?  Do you think of fairy tale endings, romance, affection?  Or do you think about families together, mothers and their children, fathers wrestling with the young ones?  What about friends talking and laughing together?  Do you think of smiles, laughter, a warm contentment in your heart, a feeling of belonging?  Love certainly has all these aspects to it.  But how many of us think of arguments, looking into the eyes of someone you care about after they hurt you, commitment through really tough times, telling someone about what you did to them and apologizing?

When we consider love we tend to think about all the positive aspects of it, but often forget that it comes with pain.  How many of you have heard the saying of, "If it's meant to be it will be easy".  This is such a lie told to us by the world.  Even Christians can be guilty of believing that if we love God everything will be easy, including love.  What we often forget is that there are two types of love for everyone that we can love: conditional and unconditional love.  Conditional Love is when we seek the positive feelings for ourselves, when we love someone because they show love to us.  It's easy to love my fiancee when he's serenading me with one of my favorite songs!  He did something for me and I feel great.  However, when he hasn't called me in two days my earthly self often says, "I'm not going to give him anything until he shows me love."  How many times do we find ourselves doing that?  Think about your relationship with your parents when they're annoying you, your best friend when you feel they've wronged you, or when the person you love hurts you.  Many of our earthly ideas of love center around the idea of conditional love.

God asks us to go a step higher and follow His model through Christ of Unconditional Love.  What is unconditional love?  Just read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (NIV, emphasis added)."  I don't know about you, but the first time I read this I thought, "I'd love to be loved like this!  This is how God loves me."  It's true, this is how God loves us, but if you're like me you'll notice how the desire was on being loved that way.  Here's a challenge, try reading these verses when you're angry at someone you care about.  Can you love them that way?  Again, if you're anything like me you're probably thinking what I'm thinking, "Love is hard".   And guess what, this is how God wants us to love not only Him, but everyone He's entrusted to us, even complete strangers!  Consider this, if you're realizing that love is hard remember that God loves all of us like this, no matter what we've done!  Talk about hard! My fiancee is pretty good at most of this with me, it's truly amazing sometimes.  He loves me like Christ and that's one of the greatest things I adore about him.  But I also get a little jealous sometimes, wishing I could love him just like he loves me.  God has shown me to trust Him and He will teach me.

Are you thinking, "God, how am I going to do this?  You're asking too much of me!"?  I know I have!  However remember this, if you have declared your life to Jesus then you are a work in progress.  I repeat, you are a work in progress.  God doesn't expect you to be able to do this right away.  He knows we have to practice it, which is why He's going to give you plenty of opportunities!  Just the other day I was upset with my fiancee.  I was firmly holding my ground and saying that I wouldn't budge until he showed love to me.  Self-seeking, conditional love.  But God wouldn't let me get my way and instead instructed me, "Go over to him and kiss him right now".  I resisted for a moment but God knew I had to learn a lesson and wouldn't let me off the hook.  So I obeyed.  I went up to my fiancee and gave him a loving kiss.  And you know what was crazy, I felt my anger melt away and what replaced it was feelings of love toward him.

So how do we practice unconditional love?  Here are a few of the things that God has shown me (and I still have a lot of practice to go so this is as much for me as it is for you):

1. Find out what makes someone you care about feel loved and do it, especially when you're upset or disappointed in them.  Do this for your mom, your best friend, your brother, your grandpa, your person.
2. When someone you care about isn't showing you much attention, instead of holding out on them meet them.  Sometimes it can be a text or phone call saying you miss them or are wondering how they're doing.
3. When you're upset with someone you care about consider yourself before judging them.  I sometimes get on my fiancee for being prideful, but recognizing that I can struggle with that too helps me to remember let go of small things.
4. If someone you care about is a Christ follower but is sinning try separating the sin from the person.  This is what Paul encourages us to do because the two ARE separate.
5. Pray for people you care about when you're mad at them. Ask God to be with them and bless them, and ask Him to help you see that person the way God sees them.
6. Remember, love is an action.  If you aren't feeling loved, step up and do something thoughtful for someone else.  It's an even better feeling to make someone else feel loved! 
7. Recognize the things people do for you that they consider love and appreciate it.  Also, don't be afraid to suggest things that will make you feel good.  Love is best when it's a two way street.
8. When you're upset with someone, think about all their good characteristics and your favorite memories with them.  Don't let the negative thoughts win out over the positive ones.
9. If someone you care about truly did something to hurt you, tell them about it.  Avoid blame and explain how it felt to you, without bringing up past incidences.  Then, no matter if they apologize or not, forgive them and let it go.

One of my friends a few years ago said something really thought provoking.  He said that if his wife ever cheated on him that he'd stay with her.  This is something that he'd have biblical grounds to divorce her, Jesus even said it would be okay.  But he said he'd stay, explaining that he'd done so much to wrong God and yet God still forgave him and walked with him, so he would do that for his wife as well.  Wow!  That is unconditional love!

Love is hard, and love is work.  Love is an action, not a feeling.  Unconditional love asks us to love someone no matter how much they hurt us.  And love is not just for romantic relationships.  If you want to improve the way you love unconditionally, ask God to reveal someone in your life who needs love, someone who will challenge you to love.  If you constantly argue with your mother then God might ask you to start there.  Or if there's a friend you find yourself upset with often, begin there.  Has your significant other been driving you crazy lately?  You may want to begin there and start showing love and forgiving them what they've done wrong.  Then recognize that you can't do this out of your own strength, just look to the world for proof of that.  Ask God to help you and guide you, ask the spirit for strength and discernment, patience and kindness. This is a challenge for me and you.  Love is hard, but love is also very necessary.  As Paul earlier writes in 1 Corinthians 13:3, "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing (NIV, emphasis included)."  Unconditional love is so necessary that we even need to be prepared for spiritual attack against ourselves and our relationships that we must fight, for it is greatly opposed by our enemy.  

My God be with you and help you to love those He's entrusted to you with unconditional love.  May His angels protect you, and may the Spirit bless you with wisdom, patience, strength, and kindness.  Love is hard, but there's a God for that!