True Love

My fiancee and I have been together for 16 months now, and Christ has taught me so much about love in those months, especially how to love others.  After the lovely, "I can't believe how happy I am, this is awesome" honeymoon phase of the relationship, my pessimistic attitude started to emerge.  I started seeing my man's faults, and started desiring for him to change.  "You need to pursue me", "You need to pursue God", "I feel like you're not there for me", "I want you to be the best person you can be (aka, I want you to be the person I want you to me)"... doesn't sound very merciful or Godly does it?

By God's mercy, we've made it through each of those struggles.  But He didn't want to just get us through, He had something to teach me, something I kept trying to dodge.  He showed me a vision using Matthew 14:25-31, and He's used this before to speak to me.  The verse says, "Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.  When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.  'It's a ghost,' they said, and cried out in fear.  But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage!  It is I.  Don't be afraid.'  'Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.'  'Come,' he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.  'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?' (NIV)"  This time, when worrying about my fiancee's faith, Jesus asked me to put myself in Peter's position, and instead of looking at the wind and the waves I'm watching someone else's walk to Christ, and just like Peter I'm starting to sink.  I need to focus on my journey toward Christ and they need to focus on theirs.  Focusing on someone else's walk will cause me to sink.

Through this vision He showed me that if I love my man (or brother, or best friend, or mother, or someone else) AND Jesus that I needed to value God's will for my fiancee more than my own, that the kind of man God wants him to be should outweigh the kind of man I want him to be!  And I should desire for my fiancee to want to same in me (and this is an area that he's so much better at than I am).  It's completely transformed the way that I love him now.  Don't get me wrong, there will still be times when my man drives me absolutely insane, or when he struggles with things that I think should be so easy to understand, but realizing that he has his own separate journey with Christ and that God has a plan for him helps me to show mercy and have patience.  Even better, it strengthens my faith in God! My prayers always seem to feature me telling God "Your will over mine".

Why is this important?  Jesus asks us to give up everything to follow Him.  That's not just possessions.  That's worries, control, and desires.  If you're trying to control a situation, or are worried about someone you care about then you're not giving up everything for Christ.  Trust God to work in the person you care about, and save yourself from anxiety, anger, frustration, and possible expensive therapy (any kind of therapy, either medical or retail, can still be pricey).

So how can this apply if you're not in a relationship?  You have other relationships to consider as well: siblings, parents, friends, etc.  If you find yourself worrying about their walk, and thinking that they could have everything together if they would just do A, B, and C, then ask God to remind you that He didn't just create you and endow you with a specific walk and purpose, He's done the same for the people you care about.  Ask God to help you let go and trust God to work His will in your life.  And recognize that his plan for them is so much better than anything you could plan for them.  That's true love, asking God to work in His way for the people you care about.  And don't forget to let His will win out over your personal will too.