Today was kind of a surreal day for me in a way. I realized that had I never surrendered to God's plan, had I not released my desires for my life, that I would have been getting married today. I knew it wouldn't be a day of brokenness or hurt, too many wonderful things have happened in the last year for me to feel that. Instead, it was a reminder that the right choice was made, that God honors those who sacrifice their plans and their desires to follow Him, and that He is able to do immeasurably more than we can dream or hope for!
So instead of going to the chapel I went to Kensington for their leadership conference celebrating the last 25 years and gaining a vision of what the next 25 years will hopefully look like. As I walked into what is normally the worship area at the Orion campus I saw tons of round tables decorated with table cloths, lovely centerpieces, and table numbers. It resembled the look of a reception hall on wedding day. And instead of family coming together because of the union of a couple, there was "family" gathered on mission for Christ to celebrate and worship God for all He has done. And during the last worship set it hit me that this is but a glimpse of what the wedding of Christ to His bride will look like, joyfully worshipping and finally being joined as one to the one who died for us and rose again victoriously! I may not have been a bride in a white dress standing beside her new husband, but I was a bride of Christ gazing upward and joyfully worshipping my Groom to be!
In the last session the founders of the church pondered the question, "What would've happened if we had missed this? If we hadn't obeyed the call of God?" If they hadn't the 1,000 leaders gathered would not have been there, let alone the thousands more who attend our campuses on a weekly basis. If they hadn't then many people could say that they may not have come to know Christ! Wow! And I began to ponder the same question. What if I had missed all that this year had offered, missed what is happening in my life right now? What if I had chosen to disobey God and move forward in my own plans? I wouldn't be where I am today, and I don't think I would've known God in the same way I do today! Wow! I'm so thankful for the woman God has been transforming me into and for the risks He's asked me to take! And I'm so thankful for my ever growing understanding of my Heavenly Father and my Prince! It's nights like this that make me fall to my knees, filled with the love of Christ, and just praising Him for what He's done this year in and through me.
I didn't get married tonight, but because of Jesus, I couldn't have been more joyful! And I can't wait to see what He's going to do this year! Amen!
Friday, August 14, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Single (with Jesus) Doesn't Suck
I've been single twice in my life now; pretty much all of my childhood up to August 2012 and then July 2014 to the present. In my time of singleness I've noticed how there really is a negative stigma on being single, especially for the female gender. Sure, men get their fair share too, but the girls really have it tough. You see, the world tells us that we're valuable if we can get a guy to like us enough to date us and marry us. If you're single it must mean that you don't have anything to offer men, I mean, why can't you get a guy to like you? So as women we grow up making it our main mission to "find a man". You can tell by all the time both younger and older women spend talking about men, deciphering what they said or did, and evaluating our performance in luring them in. We're asked at weddings and family gatherings, "So, are you seeing anyone? When will it be your turn?" And singleness is often thought to be synonymous with lonely. Even in the church you will sometimes see this. How do I know? The first time I was single I was right there with them. I saw all the girls around me with boyfriends and wondered what they had that I didn't. I dreamed of the day I would be swept off my feet and felt bitter toward all the girls who had what I didn't. My standards weren't even that high because I thought, "I'll be valuable if I can get a guy to like me". I faired better after coming to know Christ, but I still struggled with this.
This time around I've had my struggles, but ultimately I feel much better because I know two very important things:
1) My value doesn't come from having a man, a job, a house, money, clothes, friends, etc. My value comes from Jesus, and He thought I was to die for! He loves me more than anyone ever could and He knows the real me more than anyone ever will!
2) Sure, singles experience loneliness from time to time, but so do those who are coupled up or married. Single does not equal lonely just like married does not always equal happy.
We seem to believe that being married is the ultimate goal while forgetting that God made singleness as wonderful of a gift as marriage. One is not better than the other, especially when you're following Jesus. Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 7:26-28;32-34, "I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that... I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." I can definitely say from my own experience that I have had an easier time focusing on God as a single woman pursuing a relationship with Christ than as a woman in a relationship. God has been able to do so much more in and through me whilst single than when I was in a relationship!
Marriage, like singleness, is a gift from the Lord, He created it! I'm not saying it's bad and that everyone should desire to be single. However, we need to remember that God didn't create marriage to be an idol to our culture and society. When people desire marriage so they can wear the pretty dress, have the big ring, and throw the biggest party of their lives then we have a problem. When people get married thinking they no longer have to be lonely, well, we still have a problem. The worst offender in the church is people who get married so they can have sex without sinning. Marriage can be a gift or it can be a ticking bomb, and this all depends on our reasons for desiring/getting married.
Yes, I still desire marriage someday, even though I'm enjoying being single and set aside for the Lord right now. However, I refuse to get married for any reason other than bringing God glory and experiencing a more physical embodiment of His love for me. I refuse to get married because of the pressure that society puts on me, or because I want it. The marriage that would follow would leave me more lonely and distressed than singleness ever has. Last year I learned a lesson, one I was fortunate enough to learn before becoming a part of a covenant of marriage when God said, "Not yet". My reasons for wanting to get married then were much more worldly. I didn't want to be lonely and I wanted to do what my friends were doing (I didn't want to get left behind). I know that at the right time God will fulfill His promise to me, and it will allow me to grow emotionally and spiritually as much or more than how much I've grown single. The right relationship will deepen my relationship with my savior. Until then, I will walk hand in hand with Jesus and learn all that he wants me to!
In this last year of singleness I can definitely say that being single with Jesus is amazing, I would choose it over and over again! If you're single right now and find yourself absolutely hating it then I encourage you to turn to the One who loves and values you more than any man or woman ever could. I hope that you'll ask Him to use this season in your life for something amazing! Maybe you have more to learn about yourself, maybe He wants to send you somewhere, maybe He wants to sweep you off your feet to show you how loved and valued you are! Your time being single with Jesus will not be wasted, and I know that someday you'll look back and be thankful for it. Remember, marriage isn't a prize, you aren't missing out on something just because you don't have that special someone. Talk to the coupled up people around you and hear their struggles and you might just find yourself thankful for your single status. God created the gift of marriage, but He also created the gift of singleness. Singleness doesn't mean that you're alone, it means that you're putting all of your focus, faith, and love into Jesus; with Jesus you'll NEVER be alone!
This time around I've had my struggles, but ultimately I feel much better because I know two very important things:
1) My value doesn't come from having a man, a job, a house, money, clothes, friends, etc. My value comes from Jesus, and He thought I was to die for! He loves me more than anyone ever could and He knows the real me more than anyone ever will!
2) Sure, singles experience loneliness from time to time, but so do those who are coupled up or married. Single does not equal lonely just like married does not always equal happy.
We seem to believe that being married is the ultimate goal while forgetting that God made singleness as wonderful of a gift as marriage. One is not better than the other, especially when you're following Jesus. Paul even says in 1 Corinthians 7:26-28;32-34, "I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that... I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." I can definitely say from my own experience that I have had an easier time focusing on God as a single woman pursuing a relationship with Christ than as a woman in a relationship. God has been able to do so much more in and through me whilst single than when I was in a relationship!
Marriage, like singleness, is a gift from the Lord, He created it! I'm not saying it's bad and that everyone should desire to be single. However, we need to remember that God didn't create marriage to be an idol to our culture and society. When people desire marriage so they can wear the pretty dress, have the big ring, and throw the biggest party of their lives then we have a problem. When people get married thinking they no longer have to be lonely, well, we still have a problem. The worst offender in the church is people who get married so they can have sex without sinning. Marriage can be a gift or it can be a ticking bomb, and this all depends on our reasons for desiring/getting married.
Yes, I still desire marriage someday, even though I'm enjoying being single and set aside for the Lord right now. However, I refuse to get married for any reason other than bringing God glory and experiencing a more physical embodiment of His love for me. I refuse to get married because of the pressure that society puts on me, or because I want it. The marriage that would follow would leave me more lonely and distressed than singleness ever has. Last year I learned a lesson, one I was fortunate enough to learn before becoming a part of a covenant of marriage when God said, "Not yet". My reasons for wanting to get married then were much more worldly. I didn't want to be lonely and I wanted to do what my friends were doing (I didn't want to get left behind). I know that at the right time God will fulfill His promise to me, and it will allow me to grow emotionally and spiritually as much or more than how much I've grown single. The right relationship will deepen my relationship with my savior. Until then, I will walk hand in hand with Jesus and learn all that he wants me to!
In this last year of singleness I can definitely say that being single with Jesus is amazing, I would choose it over and over again! If you're single right now and find yourself absolutely hating it then I encourage you to turn to the One who loves and values you more than any man or woman ever could. I hope that you'll ask Him to use this season in your life for something amazing! Maybe you have more to learn about yourself, maybe He wants to send you somewhere, maybe He wants to sweep you off your feet to show you how loved and valued you are! Your time being single with Jesus will not be wasted, and I know that someday you'll look back and be thankful for it. Remember, marriage isn't a prize, you aren't missing out on something just because you don't have that special someone. Talk to the coupled up people around you and hear their struggles and you might just find yourself thankful for your single status. God created the gift of marriage, but He also created the gift of singleness. Singleness doesn't mean that you're alone, it means that you're putting all of your focus, faith, and love into Jesus; with Jesus you'll NEVER be alone!
Monday, July 6, 2015
Building on Solid Ground
If I haven't written this before then it's time to confess, I'm a musical nerd. There, I said it! Judge me all you will but I love my musicals! I sometimes wish that life could be one big musical, but oh well. Anyway, yesterday I was sharing in my musical nerdiness with a fellow nerd and dear friend as we watched The Last Five Years with Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan. My friend told me about it, I looked up the musical, and I got hooked! For those who are not as nerdy as I am, this musical is about the rise and fall of a couples' relationship. What makes it different is that the girl, Cathy, tells the story from the end of the relationship to the very beginning while the guy, Jamie, tells the story in chronological order. They temporarily meet in the middle for a beautiful duet that features the couples' engagement and wedding.
So why am I writing about this? Well, the relationship featured was definitely worldly, and I couldn't help but notice how the couple was founded on passion and the excitement of love. They worshipped each other and the fact that they had each other. They were both also very selfish, putting their own career needs over the other person. It created such a shaky foundation that as soon as they started experiencing problems they fell apart, with Jamie eventually having affairs because he "needed love" and finally leaving Cathy. I couldn't help but wonder, how different would this story have been if they had placed their foundation in Christ and kept the passion at bay until marriage? Would they have made it? I have to believe that they could have.
As a relationship starts it can be very exciting and we can become enraptured in the feelings of love and passion that come with it. But if we fall for the lure of establishing our relationship on the feelings of love and the act of passion that can connect us all to soon then we set ourselves on very shaky ground. I realized while listening to Pyramid by Charice that a Godly marriage and lasting relationship is held up by two people who have firmly created their foundation in Christ and seeks to build responsibly upward, helping each other become closer to God. If even one person's foundation is not fully in Christ then the whole pyramid will tumble. Even scientists say that passion and the wonderful feelings of love can hold up a relationship for at least 18-24 months, but after that love is about action, about sacrifice. A conscious decision to put the other person before yourself on a daily basis. Talk about dying to self! This can only be done if you are firmly centered in Jesus, only he can give you the strength to do this. And in order to have that reciprocated, you need to focus on finding someone who is doing the same thing, because they can't love you the way you truly need without Jesus.
I love these lessons because they help to prepare me for what's coming. But they also remind me of what can happen if I choose not to obey God in this, if I seek to be worshipped and adored, if I place a relationship in a higher place than my Lord. All of us need to consider the cost of what we are getting into. However, do not fear if you've gotten yourself into a relationship that you realize you shouldn't be in or can't continue, or even if someone has ended a relationship with you. God is our amazing healer and redeemer, He is more than happy to comfort you and heal your wounds and lead you down a better path! He is so good!
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Open Hands
As I reflect on the last year I am absolutely blown away by everything that God has done, and most importantly, by what He's taught me that have changed my heart and will help me with every step I take for the Kingdom. He's teaching me to walk in unconditional love, and the lesson of the last few days just adds to it.
As I thought about a dear friend's impending move to South Korea, the message that suddenly resonated in my head was "Live open-handedly". Ever since this friend re-entered my life a year ago I had a distinct feeling that I should hold her friendship with open hands because God might move. As the spring approached and my friend made the exciting decision to teach in South Korea I realized why God had impressed that upon me. So why is this so important? Because I didn't use to live this way. In the past, I would cling tight to whatever was given to me; friends, family, clothes, jobs, plans, etc. When I received something I would be like, "Ok, so what's my plan for handling this? How do I make sure everything will be alright?" This winter God showed me that I was clinging too tightly to certain friendships that I was beginning to suffocate them and He asked me if I would trust them into His care. I was reluctant but I agreed. As I began to lose touch with some friends I let go of my desire to control and make sure I wouldn't lose them and put my faith in the Lord. Thankfully, with each friendship, He brought them back to me in times that they were most needed. He was faithful!
By living with open hands we say to the Lord, "Thank You for this gift that you've given to me, but I understand that You could ask for it back at any time and I'm okay with that because I know that You're good." We give up our plans, our dreams, our desires, our people, our lives. And God places in our hands what He sees best at the right times. Some gifts He never gives back, some gifts He allows us to hold onto for a very long time. However, when we try to cling and squeeze ever harder we find that we begin to break the gift, that we're destroying it's beauty. Living open-handedly is not easy because it requires a huge amount of faith and humility, faith that God will be good no matter what and humility to help us realize that only God knows what's best for us. It also requires knowing the only place where your identity and value can solidly lie: in our Savior.
I encourage you today to give up everything You have to the One who can be trusted to work something amazing for your good and the good of the Kingdom. Surrender yourself, your plans, your people, your home, your job, your car, your clothes. And realize that whatever God does take from your hands He will replace with something even better because He loves you!
As I thought about a dear friend's impending move to South Korea, the message that suddenly resonated in my head was "Live open-handedly". Ever since this friend re-entered my life a year ago I had a distinct feeling that I should hold her friendship with open hands because God might move. As the spring approached and my friend made the exciting decision to teach in South Korea I realized why God had impressed that upon me. So why is this so important? Because I didn't use to live this way. In the past, I would cling tight to whatever was given to me; friends, family, clothes, jobs, plans, etc. When I received something I would be like, "Ok, so what's my plan for handling this? How do I make sure everything will be alright?" This winter God showed me that I was clinging too tightly to certain friendships that I was beginning to suffocate them and He asked me if I would trust them into His care. I was reluctant but I agreed. As I began to lose touch with some friends I let go of my desire to control and make sure I wouldn't lose them and put my faith in the Lord. Thankfully, with each friendship, He brought them back to me in times that they were most needed. He was faithful!
By living with open hands we say to the Lord, "Thank You for this gift that you've given to me, but I understand that You could ask for it back at any time and I'm okay with that because I know that You're good." We give up our plans, our dreams, our desires, our people, our lives. And God places in our hands what He sees best at the right times. Some gifts He never gives back, some gifts He allows us to hold onto for a very long time. However, when we try to cling and squeeze ever harder we find that we begin to break the gift, that we're destroying it's beauty. Living open-handedly is not easy because it requires a huge amount of faith and humility, faith that God will be good no matter what and humility to help us realize that only God knows what's best for us. It also requires knowing the only place where your identity and value can solidly lie: in our Savior.
I encourage you today to give up everything You have to the One who can be trusted to work something amazing for your good and the good of the Kingdom. Surrender yourself, your plans, your people, your home, your job, your car, your clothes. And realize that whatever God does take from your hands He will replace with something even better because He loves you!
Monday, May 25, 2015
Stop Trying to Figure it Out
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." ~Proverbs 3:5
How many times have we all read this verse? For many of us this is a favorite verse that reminds us to trust God no matter the circumstances. I know I've looked to this verse many times to help me in times of trial. However, I realized over the last few days how often we focus on the first part of this verse (Trust in the Lord with all your heart...) but forget the second part, "...and lean not on your own understanding."
Having grown up outside of the church I was taught to look at logic and reasoning to help me solve problems or understand solutions. I've always enjoyed helping people figure out a solution to their problems and making predictions about what might happen next based off of patterns that I see whether it be in a story/movie or real life. So when I came to know Jesus I took this with me. Excited to see how the Lord would work I would try to figure out what His solutions would be before they happened and want to know why God was doing things the way He was doing them. Each time I would do this I would notice that I would be filled with anxiety and emptiness. That was when I realized the second part of this verse. It's been in these moments that I go off of my own understanding because that's all I have, but I'm not supposed to be leaning on my own reasoning. I'm not saying that we follow God with totally blind faith, but we ask for His understanding and realize that we're only meant to understand so much. We're not God, we didn't create everything existence, so we're not going to get all of our questions answered. This is faith, that we say to God, "I trust You to move" instead of saying "When You move I'll trust You". Our faith shouldn't be conditional, just like our love shouldn't be conditional.
We also have to realize that when we go off of our understanding and make decisions based off of it that we're going to make a mess because we're humans, we're flawed! If we really want to follow God and see all of the incredible blessings that He has for us then we need to follow Him and discern His understanding from our own so we can best follow Him. Faith is trusting without fully understanding. Joyce Meyer actually wrote in Battlefield of the Mind about abandoning our reasoning because it can distract us from God's voice and God's work in our lives. If we're relying on our reasoning then we're not relying on God, and if we're not relying on God then we're not trusting God, and if we're not trusting God then often times we're not following Him. So ask God for His understanding, wisdom, and discernment in your life and let go of your own so that you may follow Him with a much stronger faith!
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
How many times have we all read this verse? For many of us this is a favorite verse that reminds us to trust God no matter the circumstances. I know I've looked to this verse many times to help me in times of trial. However, I realized over the last few days how often we focus on the first part of this verse (Trust in the Lord with all your heart...) but forget the second part, "...and lean not on your own understanding."
Having grown up outside of the church I was taught to look at logic and reasoning to help me solve problems or understand solutions. I've always enjoyed helping people figure out a solution to their problems and making predictions about what might happen next based off of patterns that I see whether it be in a story/movie or real life. So when I came to know Jesus I took this with me. Excited to see how the Lord would work I would try to figure out what His solutions would be before they happened and want to know why God was doing things the way He was doing them. Each time I would do this I would notice that I would be filled with anxiety and emptiness. That was when I realized the second part of this verse. It's been in these moments that I go off of my own understanding because that's all I have, but I'm not supposed to be leaning on my own reasoning. I'm not saying that we follow God with totally blind faith, but we ask for His understanding and realize that we're only meant to understand so much. We're not God, we didn't create everything existence, so we're not going to get all of our questions answered. This is faith, that we say to God, "I trust You to move" instead of saying "When You move I'll trust You". Our faith shouldn't be conditional, just like our love shouldn't be conditional.
We also have to realize that when we go off of our understanding and make decisions based off of it that we're going to make a mess because we're humans, we're flawed! If we really want to follow God and see all of the incredible blessings that He has for us then we need to follow Him and discern His understanding from our own so we can best follow Him. Faith is trusting without fully understanding. Joyce Meyer actually wrote in Battlefield of the Mind about abandoning our reasoning because it can distract us from God's voice and God's work in our lives. If we're relying on our reasoning then we're not relying on God, and if we're not relying on God then we're not trusting God, and if we're not trusting God then often times we're not following Him. So ask God for His understanding, wisdom, and discernment in your life and let go of your own so that you may follow Him with a much stronger faith!
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Drop the Expectations
This weekend I had an amazing time at SMASH, my church's all-women's retreat, up at SpringHill camp! I was able to spend time with some of my beloved sisters-in-Christ having fun, meeting new people, hearing amazing messages, and spending time with my Prince! However, before I left I was in a spiritual funk. Some things hadn't gone the way I thought it should or the way I thought God was leading and I was confused and struggling to connect with God. I was also feeling trapped, like I had to move or I couldn't grow anymore, and I thought it was because a big change was coming. What I didn't realize until the retreat was that my feeling trapped was being caused by expectations. And let me be clear, these expectations were not put on me by God, and very few were placed on me by others. The expectations trapping me were placed on me were bestowed by none other than myself.
My walk this past year has not been easy, and I've constantly had this feeling that I didn't fit in. I felt that I should be married like my friends and thinking of starting a family, I felt that I should already have a better job and be living out of my parents house, and I felt that I should know my calling for the Kingdom. Yet God doesn't feel it's best for me to have none of these yet. And it would leave me in a state of confusion or a state of obsessive hope that something, anything, would move! And when it didn't I felt like God had left me. But I realized this weekend that this was far from the truth! God was with me, but I couldn't hear His voice or feel His presence because I was too concerned with me and what I felt like God would want for me because I wanted it (I know this probably sounds confusing, but just roll with it). I couldn't hear from God because I was too busy listening to myself and the world. And sometimes it takes a change of location and scenery to truly understand that. So finally I took all these expectations, confessed my sinful selfish thoughts, and peacefully accepted God's expectations for me, which were so much lighter! He expects me to worship and glorify Him, to spend time with Him, to love others, and to share the light He gave me with others. He expects me to accept His grace because of the cross, and to put Him first before all else in my life! And you know what? It's wonderful, it's peaceful, and it's joyful! His expectations don't condemn, they love! How wonderful!
So now I'm finally back to a state of peace where I rebuke unfair expectations that distract me from God's incredible love! And now I'm free to dance with my Prince and accept whatever He brings me! I'm not worried about when I'll get married or have children because He is enough for me, and I know that the season of life that I'm in right now is being used to prepare me for the seasons that are coming! God is good all the time, and we can see it if we will get out of our own way! So I challenge you to look at the expectations that either you or the world are putting on your shoulders and give them to the One who's expectations are much better!
My walk this past year has not been easy, and I've constantly had this feeling that I didn't fit in. I felt that I should be married like my friends and thinking of starting a family, I felt that I should already have a better job and be living out of my parents house, and I felt that I should know my calling for the Kingdom. Yet God doesn't feel it's best for me to have none of these yet. And it would leave me in a state of confusion or a state of obsessive hope that something, anything, would move! And when it didn't I felt like God had left me. But I realized this weekend that this was far from the truth! God was with me, but I couldn't hear His voice or feel His presence because I was too concerned with me and what I felt like God would want for me because I wanted it (I know this probably sounds confusing, but just roll with it). I couldn't hear from God because I was too busy listening to myself and the world. And sometimes it takes a change of location and scenery to truly understand that. So finally I took all these expectations, confessed my sinful selfish thoughts, and peacefully accepted God's expectations for me, which were so much lighter! He expects me to worship and glorify Him, to spend time with Him, to love others, and to share the light He gave me with others. He expects me to accept His grace because of the cross, and to put Him first before all else in my life! And you know what? It's wonderful, it's peaceful, and it's joyful! His expectations don't condemn, they love! How wonderful!
So now I'm finally back to a state of peace where I rebuke unfair expectations that distract me from God's incredible love! And now I'm free to dance with my Prince and accept whatever He brings me! I'm not worried about when I'll get married or have children because He is enough for me, and I know that the season of life that I'm in right now is being used to prepare me for the seasons that are coming! God is good all the time, and we can see it if we will get out of our own way! So I challenge you to look at the expectations that either you or the world are putting on your shoulders and give them to the One who's expectations are much better!
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Blessings Through the Tough Stuff
Yesterday was the second group run for my church's marathon training and can I just say, OWWW!!! I have never been a runner, my furthest distance has been just over a mile. But for some crazy reason God's like "You know what, you're going to run a half marathon this year!" So now I'm learning how to run. Anyway, this group run ended the second week of training and overall I've been feeling like I've been doing alright. On my run days I'm doing intervals of 2 minutes running to 1 minute walking and repeating that over and over until I hit the time limit, which on Saturday was 35 minutes, the longest yet.
For most of my runs so far I've had no problem getting started and just doing it. But yesterday, for some reason, as soon as I started I wanted to stop. I told my running buddy and she pushed me through it, but throughout the entire run I felt like I was dying and couldn't wait for my phone to tell me it was time to walk again. I had a tough time regulating my breathing and figured I was going to land one of my slowest mile times yet (which at this time all averaged around 12 minutes 30 seconds). As my phone alerted me that I had completed the first mile I fearfully waited to hear my mile time until I heard "11 minutes and 40 seconds"! I thought my phone was broken, there was no way that I had broken the 12 minute barrier! And even if I had, I was probably going to get a slower time for the second mile. I kept going.
A painful while later my phone dinged again signaling the second mile. My time? 11 minutes and 30 seconds! I was shocked! I couldn't believe that on a run where I was feeling so bad that I was recording my best times so far. For the first time I hoped that I'd finish with an average time under 12 minutes. My friend caught up with me (after lapping me) and she went the rest of the way with me, encouraging me the whole time. I pushed myself through. Finally I finished the run with just over 3 miles and an average time of 11 minutes and 45 seconds!! Personal record! Who knew?
As I drove up to Michigan State to visit my brother I reflected on the morning's run and brought it to God. Why, when I felt like I was doing my worst running, did I ended up doing my best? And God told me, "Sometimes the biggest blessings come out of the toughest situations". A reminder of trust, a reminder not to be afraid of difficulties, a reminder to have faith that God was in control of all circumstances. That message was a blessing in and of itself.
So today I encourage you, if you're going through a really tough situation, bring it before God and trust Him with it. He will turn your difficulty into a blessing, He is in control. And because He loves you He's going to show you by coming through for you and blessing you beyond belief!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
For most of my runs so far I've had no problem getting started and just doing it. But yesterday, for some reason, as soon as I started I wanted to stop. I told my running buddy and she pushed me through it, but throughout the entire run I felt like I was dying and couldn't wait for my phone to tell me it was time to walk again. I had a tough time regulating my breathing and figured I was going to land one of my slowest mile times yet (which at this time all averaged around 12 minutes 30 seconds). As my phone alerted me that I had completed the first mile I fearfully waited to hear my mile time until I heard "11 minutes and 40 seconds"! I thought my phone was broken, there was no way that I had broken the 12 minute barrier! And even if I had, I was probably going to get a slower time for the second mile. I kept going.
A painful while later my phone dinged again signaling the second mile. My time? 11 minutes and 30 seconds! I was shocked! I couldn't believe that on a run where I was feeling so bad that I was recording my best times so far. For the first time I hoped that I'd finish with an average time under 12 minutes. My friend caught up with me (after lapping me) and she went the rest of the way with me, encouraging me the whole time. I pushed myself through. Finally I finished the run with just over 3 miles and an average time of 11 minutes and 45 seconds!! Personal record! Who knew?
As I drove up to Michigan State to visit my brother I reflected on the morning's run and brought it to God. Why, when I felt like I was doing my worst running, did I ended up doing my best? And God told me, "Sometimes the biggest blessings come out of the toughest situations". A reminder of trust, a reminder not to be afraid of difficulties, a reminder to have faith that God was in control of all circumstances. That message was a blessing in and of itself.
So today I encourage you, if you're going through a really tough situation, bring it before God and trust Him with it. He will turn your difficulty into a blessing, He is in control. And because He loves you He's going to show you by coming through for you and blessing you beyond belief!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Walking Away from the Relationship I Wanted Most for a Deeper Relationship with the God I Needed Most
Have you ever been sitting in a classroom or trying to learn how to do something at work and you experience that lightbulb moment? That moment when everything becomes clear and makes sense? Have you ever been in the same situation and wished that the lightbulb would just turn on already? I just experienced a lightbulb moment to a question I had been asking ever since I called off my engagement.
Leading up to the end of my previous relationship I would experience a lot of anxiety, mostly over whether or not this was the relationship that God wanted me to be in and if this was the person God wanted me to marry. Nearing the end of July 2014 I prayed to God again about this question, feeling the stress of needing to book a wedding venue and nearing the cusp of true wedding planning. The anxiety had become too much to take, and I needed a definitive answer. God finally answered! I have never audibly heard God's voice, but this was the closest I have ever come, and I heard "You're not equally yoked". In that moment it was like the door to that relationship was closed and locked before I could even protest. For the first time I felt at peace. Then sadness overwhelmed me as I realized what I had to do. I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I did not do it perfectly, but with God's help we got through the break up as gracefully as we could (cue good old Kelly).
In the months that followed God began to heal my heart and bring me into a relationship with Him that I never knew I could have! I fell in love with Jesus in a way I never had before! And God blessed me with an amazing church and community that I needed. He inspired my heart to create music, art, and writing! He taught me to pray and hear His voice! He showed me that He was the only thing I truly needed! And yet, there was a question I would wonder over and over again, "Why did God allow this relationship to happen?" I didn't get it. I truly wanted to save my heart for my husband. I wanted to remain pure for him. The only reason I had given some of myself away was because I thought I'd found my husband. Why didn't God protect me? What was the point of that relationship? My mother would remind me that I needed to be in that relationship to know what I truly wanted and needed. My friends encouraged me that without it I wouldn't have learned to put God first and I wouldn't have learned to rely on Him like I did. And all of these were true, but yet they didn't fully answer my question. Eventually I just moved on trusting that God had His reasons and that I didn't need to know them.
Then today I was praying over a new situation with a man who seemed interesting but I didn't want to find myself going down the same path I'd been down before. He had a lot of qualities that I'm looking for, but something still didn't seem right. I knew that no matter what I'd need an answer from God before moving in any direction, so I asked for His thoughts on this particular man. His answer blew me away as He not only answered that question, but He also gave an answer about why I had been engaged before. And it came in the form of a blog post written by Natasha Metzler entitled The Man I (Almost) Married. In reading about her experience (which was similar to mine), she wrote "One of the hardest lessons is how to listen to God when your emotions are involved." God had used the experience to teach me an important lesson, one my very emotional self needed to learn! And yet there was more! She also wrote of coming to a place of being thankful for the relationships God had put her in because He used them to teach her and refine her, making her into who she was. They were experiences she needed to have. And I finally came to a place where I was thankful for the relationship I'd had! I wouldn't be where I am today without it, and I wouldn't know the God I know today without it!
As I considered leaving a comment, I scrolled through to see what others had written in response. One woman asked Natasha about why she broke up with the man she truly almost married. She wrote back saying that after prayer she realized that she was trying to force God's hand, and that if she went through with it she would be creating an Ishmael. This struck me so hard because, like Sarah and Abraham, God has made me a promise that He said He would fulfill! I have had moments where I've waited well, and moments where I haven't waited well for the the husband and family that He promised me in February. Abraham and Sarah had similar experiences with waiting, and in a time where they didn't wait well Sarah lost hope and gave her slave, Hagar, to Abraham to produce a son. She did, and the child's name was Ishmael. This child was a product human controlling rather than God's perfect plan. And Ishmael would be at odds with the son that God finally blessed to Abraham and Sarah, Isaac. Reading this and looking at my past and present made me realize that I have to let go of my controlling ways and trust God, otherwise I could also produce an "Ishmael". If I tried to force this recent situation to go my way, God showed me that I would have another Ishmael on my hands rather than the Isaac that God promised to me. I know God's way is the best, which is why I'm letting go of what I think is best. And as Natasha wrote, "I learned that even when something 'seems good', it doesn't mean it is what God has for you."
And so tonight I find myself praising God for ALL He has done. For my broken engagement, for my anxiety, for His trustworthiness, and for His promises! If you're struggling to understand something that happened in your past, maybe this will help. And I know there are some experiences that we will never be thankful for, I'm more talking about the situations where you had a say and you made a choice. Trust God's "No's", they're for your good! And He has something amazing to show you!
Leading up to the end of my previous relationship I would experience a lot of anxiety, mostly over whether or not this was the relationship that God wanted me to be in and if this was the person God wanted me to marry. Nearing the end of July 2014 I prayed to God again about this question, feeling the stress of needing to book a wedding venue and nearing the cusp of true wedding planning. The anxiety had become too much to take, and I needed a definitive answer. God finally answered! I have never audibly heard God's voice, but this was the closest I have ever come, and I heard "You're not equally yoked". In that moment it was like the door to that relationship was closed and locked before I could even protest. For the first time I felt at peace. Then sadness overwhelmed me as I realized what I had to do. I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I did not do it perfectly, but with God's help we got through the break up as gracefully as we could (cue good old Kelly).
In the months that followed God began to heal my heart and bring me into a relationship with Him that I never knew I could have! I fell in love with Jesus in a way I never had before! And God blessed me with an amazing church and community that I needed. He inspired my heart to create music, art, and writing! He taught me to pray and hear His voice! He showed me that He was the only thing I truly needed! And yet, there was a question I would wonder over and over again, "Why did God allow this relationship to happen?" I didn't get it. I truly wanted to save my heart for my husband. I wanted to remain pure for him. The only reason I had given some of myself away was because I thought I'd found my husband. Why didn't God protect me? What was the point of that relationship? My mother would remind me that I needed to be in that relationship to know what I truly wanted and needed. My friends encouraged me that without it I wouldn't have learned to put God first and I wouldn't have learned to rely on Him like I did. And all of these were true, but yet they didn't fully answer my question. Eventually I just moved on trusting that God had His reasons and that I didn't need to know them.
Then today I was praying over a new situation with a man who seemed interesting but I didn't want to find myself going down the same path I'd been down before. He had a lot of qualities that I'm looking for, but something still didn't seem right. I knew that no matter what I'd need an answer from God before moving in any direction, so I asked for His thoughts on this particular man. His answer blew me away as He not only answered that question, but He also gave an answer about why I had been engaged before. And it came in the form of a blog post written by Natasha Metzler entitled The Man I (Almost) Married. In reading about her experience (which was similar to mine), she wrote "One of the hardest lessons is how to listen to God when your emotions are involved." God had used the experience to teach me an important lesson, one my very emotional self needed to learn! And yet there was more! She also wrote of coming to a place of being thankful for the relationships God had put her in because He used them to teach her and refine her, making her into who she was. They were experiences she needed to have. And I finally came to a place where I was thankful for the relationship I'd had! I wouldn't be where I am today without it, and I wouldn't know the God I know today without it!
As I considered leaving a comment, I scrolled through to see what others had written in response. One woman asked Natasha about why she broke up with the man she truly almost married. She wrote back saying that after prayer she realized that she was trying to force God's hand, and that if she went through with it she would be creating an Ishmael. This struck me so hard because, like Sarah and Abraham, God has made me a promise that He said He would fulfill! I have had moments where I've waited well, and moments where I haven't waited well for the the husband and family that He promised me in February. Abraham and Sarah had similar experiences with waiting, and in a time where they didn't wait well Sarah lost hope and gave her slave, Hagar, to Abraham to produce a son. She did, and the child's name was Ishmael. This child was a product human controlling rather than God's perfect plan. And Ishmael would be at odds with the son that God finally blessed to Abraham and Sarah, Isaac. Reading this and looking at my past and present made me realize that I have to let go of my controlling ways and trust God, otherwise I could also produce an "Ishmael". If I tried to force this recent situation to go my way, God showed me that I would have another Ishmael on my hands rather than the Isaac that God promised to me. I know God's way is the best, which is why I'm letting go of what I think is best. And as Natasha wrote, "I learned that even when something 'seems good', it doesn't mean it is what God has for you."
And so tonight I find myself praising God for ALL He has done. For my broken engagement, for my anxiety, for His trustworthiness, and for His promises! If you're struggling to understand something that happened in your past, maybe this will help. And I know there are some experiences that we will never be thankful for, I'm more talking about the situations where you had a say and you made a choice. Trust God's "No's", they're for your good! And He has something amazing to show you!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Painful Strengthening
I lay on the table as she gently pulled on my left arm and then stretched it over my head and out to the side, pushing it a little further... a little further...
I could feel the tightness, followed by the tinge of pain as my arm was pushed and stretched more and more. Just when I thought my arm would break and the surgery would be rendered useless, she released and gently brought my arm back down. This has been repeated numerous times, 3 days a week, as my left shoulder is worked to gradually regain mobility.
One day while going through this routine I realized that it was a physical representation to visualize what God was doing in my life! Each week I was being spiritually stretched, required to abandon my thinking and break away from mental habits to focus instead on His Word. He was stretching me, over and over again, each to the point of discomfort and pain. Spiritual bones were being broken so they could be reset and healed. Just when I thought God would take me over my breaking point He released and gently returned me to a place of peace, joy, and rest before He would repeat the process with a new "bone". Each time I would find myself more spiritually stretched, mobile, flexible, and closer to the person and image He has intended for me. Just a little closer...
This has been happening ever since after my surgery. I realized it one day when I asked a friend for prayer and she said that she thought I was under a really bad spiritual attack. I knew it was attack, but something didn't sit right with me about that conclusion. It suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't being attacked, I was being taught. At the time I was reading through Genesis the stories of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Esau, and Joseph. The story of Joseph particularly stood out to me because of all of the difficulties he went through. His brothers sold him into slavery, and then he was unjustly thrown in jail for 10+ years. What he later realized, after he was released and saving the country of Egypt and many others from intense famine, was that God was preparing him for how he would use him, for the purpose He had intended for him. So each of these battles, each bone that God is breaking and resetting, I know is preparing me for the purpose He has for me, and it fills me with hope! As painful as it may be, I am happy to replace my flawed thinking and patterns with His! Trust Him, He's the best Spiritual Therapist there is!
I could feel the tightness, followed by the tinge of pain as my arm was pushed and stretched more and more. Just when I thought my arm would break and the surgery would be rendered useless, she released and gently brought my arm back down. This has been repeated numerous times, 3 days a week, as my left shoulder is worked to gradually regain mobility.
One day while going through this routine I realized that it was a physical representation to visualize what God was doing in my life! Each week I was being spiritually stretched, required to abandon my thinking and break away from mental habits to focus instead on His Word. He was stretching me, over and over again, each to the point of discomfort and pain. Spiritual bones were being broken so they could be reset and healed. Just when I thought God would take me over my breaking point He released and gently returned me to a place of peace, joy, and rest before He would repeat the process with a new "bone". Each time I would find myself more spiritually stretched, mobile, flexible, and closer to the person and image He has intended for me. Just a little closer...
This has been happening ever since after my surgery. I realized it one day when I asked a friend for prayer and she said that she thought I was under a really bad spiritual attack. I knew it was attack, but something didn't sit right with me about that conclusion. It suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't being attacked, I was being taught. At the time I was reading through Genesis the stories of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Esau, and Joseph. The story of Joseph particularly stood out to me because of all of the difficulties he went through. His brothers sold him into slavery, and then he was unjustly thrown in jail for 10+ years. What he later realized, after he was released and saving the country of Egypt and many others from intense famine, was that God was preparing him for how he would use him, for the purpose He had intended for him. So each of these battles, each bone that God is breaking and resetting, I know is preparing me for the purpose He has for me, and it fills me with hope! As painful as it may be, I am happy to replace my flawed thinking and patterns with His! Trust Him, He's the best Spiritual Therapist there is!
Friday, February 20, 2015
The Battle
I write this as an encouragement today to anybody who is battling lies about who they are, for anyone who is facing spiritual or earthly attack. You are not alone, your Savior fights with and for you! For His Word says, "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16)."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're too judgmental, mean, and prideful. What could God do with you? You're not understanding, courageous, or graceful. You try to solve everyones' problems but it never helps and they don't want it anyways. You try to be a good enough Christian, you try to be perfect. You'll never be what you want to be, you'll tear yourself apart, you are unworthy of God. Why should anyone care about you? How could you ever think you're anything, you're nothing, there's nothing special about you so why even strive to be better?"
He shoots his awful arrows tainted with lies, one after another. Some knick layers of my skin and leave their mark, yet they fly far from my heart, missing widely. One strikes my foot and I stumble, the lies threatening to knock me off my feet, but ultimately I stand again as another arrow sails past my head. I am shielded and protected by the one who defeated him through calvary on the cross! I feel a warm arm wrap itself around me and look to see the beautiful eyes, filled with love, of my Savior! He leans in close and whispers in my ear,
"You are my daughter," an arrow sails past me and I hear a howl of pain.
"I see no stain on you, my child, I took it from you on the cross." I hear another arrow sail forward.
"You are my beloved and captivating princess who I adore! I have set you free!" Another arrow finds it's target.
"My grace is sufficient for you, you are perfect without even trying because of my resurrection and love." More howls of pain sound from a distance.
"I have an incredible plan and purpose for you, you do not have to prepare for it, for I will bestow what you need when you need it." Another arrow sails...
"I am always here, I will never leave you and I will always love you." And another...
"You are more than enough. You are kind, loving, patient, humble, graceful, encouraging, and understanding. You are perfect to me, and you are needed in this world." And another...
"There's nothing you need to do to earn my love, and there's nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you as much as I do!" As another arrow sails past me and I hear it strike it's target, I feel my gentle Savior place something heavy in my hand. I look down and see a glimmering sword. I look into His tender eyes and feel His warm hand take my empty one.
We begin to walk forward, toward the sounds of howling and pain. He guides me toward my attacker, now a writhing and sad mass. Pierced in him are eight arrows that I realize came from God. I look at Jesus and feel Him squeeze my hand.
"You know what to do," He says.
I stand up and hear a commanding voice leave my lips.
"In the Name, Power, and Authority of Jesus Christ I rebuke you!" I take the sword and plunge it into my enemy's dark and evil heart until he lays still and quiet for good. He will not hurt me again.
I remove the sword and then look to see His gentle smile.
"Well done good and faithful servant, well done." He says.
"Jesus, it still hurts. My enemy may be gone but the pain remains." I can feel my wounds ache and feel weak and worn from the battle. Jesus embraces me and speaks softly, lovingly,
"Daughter, you took a risk trusting me and now you are healed and whole." At His command my strength returns. I look down and see that my skin is pure and clean once more. I smile and leap back into His arms!
"My grace is sufficient enough for you," He reminds me, "Live well, live blessed!"
I smile and whisper, "Thank you Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're too judgmental, mean, and prideful. What could God do with you? You're not understanding, courageous, or graceful. You try to solve everyones' problems but it never helps and they don't want it anyways. You try to be a good enough Christian, you try to be perfect. You'll never be what you want to be, you'll tear yourself apart, you are unworthy of God. Why should anyone care about you? How could you ever think you're anything, you're nothing, there's nothing special about you so why even strive to be better?"
He shoots his awful arrows tainted with lies, one after another. Some knick layers of my skin and leave their mark, yet they fly far from my heart, missing widely. One strikes my foot and I stumble, the lies threatening to knock me off my feet, but ultimately I stand again as another arrow sails past my head. I am shielded and protected by the one who defeated him through calvary on the cross! I feel a warm arm wrap itself around me and look to see the beautiful eyes, filled with love, of my Savior! He leans in close and whispers in my ear,
"You are my daughter," an arrow sails past me and I hear a howl of pain.
"I see no stain on you, my child, I took it from you on the cross." I hear another arrow sail forward.
"You are my beloved and captivating princess who I adore! I have set you free!" Another arrow finds it's target.
"My grace is sufficient for you, you are perfect without even trying because of my resurrection and love." More howls of pain sound from a distance.
"I have an incredible plan and purpose for you, you do not have to prepare for it, for I will bestow what you need when you need it." Another arrow sails...
"I am always here, I will never leave you and I will always love you." And another...
"You are more than enough. You are kind, loving, patient, humble, graceful, encouraging, and understanding. You are perfect to me, and you are needed in this world." And another...
"There's nothing you need to do to earn my love, and there's nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you as much as I do!" As another arrow sails past me and I hear it strike it's target, I feel my gentle Savior place something heavy in my hand. I look down and see a glimmering sword. I look into His tender eyes and feel His warm hand take my empty one.
We begin to walk forward, toward the sounds of howling and pain. He guides me toward my attacker, now a writhing and sad mass. Pierced in him are eight arrows that I realize came from God. I look at Jesus and feel Him squeeze my hand.
"You know what to do," He says.
I stand up and hear a commanding voice leave my lips.
"In the Name, Power, and Authority of Jesus Christ I rebuke you!" I take the sword and plunge it into my enemy's dark and evil heart until he lays still and quiet for good. He will not hurt me again.
I remove the sword and then look to see His gentle smile.
"Well done good and faithful servant, well done." He says.
"Jesus, it still hurts. My enemy may be gone but the pain remains." I can feel my wounds ache and feel weak and worn from the battle. Jesus embraces me and speaks softly, lovingly,
"Daughter, you took a risk trusting me and now you are healed and whole." At His command my strength returns. I look down and see that my skin is pure and clean once more. I smile and leap back into His arms!
"My grace is sufficient enough for you," He reminds me, "Live well, live blessed!"
I smile and whisper, "Thank you Jesus!"
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Humbled
Sometimes it can be so different to be in the world but not of the world, especially when the world teaches lessons that God never meant for us to follow. How many times have you heard people say things like, "If you work hard enough you'll achieve your goals," "You can do it, you just need to take control", "You need to be confident and believe in yourself". The problem with these statements is they often lead to something past confidence that's a little darker and more self-centered, pride. The bible teaches against pride, saying:
- "But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the Lord his God." 2 Chronicles 26:16
- "In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10:4
- "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Proverbs 11:2
These are just a few of many verses about the downside of pride and it's interference in a relationship with God. I have wrestled with pride before, moments where God would get me through something tough and I thought I could take it from there all by myself. Moments where I thought I didn't need God. Moments where I didn't even realize I was walking on my own because I thought I knew what to do. So what is the opposite of pride? Humbleness and humility. These qualities say that our confidence is found in Christ alone. It says, "I can do nothing without God, I need God with me every day and every moment". Scripture says of humbleness and humility:
- "In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:5-6
- "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!" Philippians 2:5-8
Christ-like humility is so different from how the world says we should approach our view of ourselves. The world says that we need to focus on ourselves, but Jesus says that we need to focus him and on others more than ourselves. Pride says, "I can do anything I want, I don't need God or anyone else", Humility says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13)".
God is such an amazing teacher, and I just had to chuckle when I realized that God was teaching me this lesson the day before I had surgery on my shoulder, causing me to now be limited in the things I can do. It's a very humbling position to be in when you need to ask for help to do daily things, and I'm thankful to be put in a position to see God move when I'm submitted physically and spiritually to Him. God also showed me how important it is to pray for a humble man to be my husband and for a marriage that is filled with Godly humility and grace. And God has shown up, providing me with peace and a healthy mindset throughout this season of physical healing in my life, while also showing me ways to be a blessing to others even in my situation. I hope that we would all turn from our pride and humble ourselves before God with every area of our lives so that we may see Him move mountains for us. When our confidence is centered on Christ we can say, "Because of my relationship with the lover and savior of my soul, I know that I will see God's glory!"
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Finishing the Race
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24
I don't know about you, but when someone mentions running I feel an intense urge to change the subject. I don't like running, never have. To me it's exhausting and it hurts everything in me, and that's just after a run down the end of the driveway. My sister has talked about signing me up for a marathon and I just have to laugh because I would not last very long at all. You'd see me get maybe about a mile before quitting. For those who can run, I'm extremely impressed and I have absolutely no problem cheering you on!
So when Paul mentions "running a race" several times in the New Testament, that fear begins to surge through me again. It didn't take me long, though, to recognize that this is not necessarily a running race, but a race of faith. And in 1 Corinthians 9:24 he talks about running in a way to win the prize, or how we need to discipline our body, mind, spirit, and soul to become stronger and help us endure the race of faith that lasts our whole life. Even after understanding all of this, however, I still had a difficult time understanding what Paul was talking about until my Bible reading this morning.
Lately I've been reading through 2 Chronicles and recently came upon the story of Asa, King of Judah. Asa is described, according to 2 Chronicles 15:17-19, like this: "Although he did not remove the high places from Israel, Asa's heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life. He brought into the temple of God the silver and gold and the articles that he and his father had dedicated. There was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of Asa's reign." Asa is described as a man who was committed to God and served Him. Even one chapter earlier it describes a scene were the Cushite army is coming to attack Judah with a very large army. And what does Asa do? He called out to God and said, "Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. Lord, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you (2 Chronicles 14:11)." And what does God do? He strikes down the Cushites and they fall into Judah's hands. Asa was a man of great faith! Well, almost...
This morning I finished the story of Asa, and the ending didn't match up with the beginning and the middle. You see, in 2 Chronicles 16 it talks about how, in the 36th year of Asa's reign, the army of Israel went up against Judah fortified Ramah, a city of Judah, so no one could leave or enter Asa's territory. Now you'd think that a man who saw God strike a huge army before him would turn once more to His God, but it's at this point that Asa stumbles in his race and takes things into his own hands. He sends lots of silver and gold to an ally of Israel, Aram, so that they will break their treaty with Israel and even attack their old friend. The king of Aram agrees and it works out well for Judah, until a seer comes to Asa to give him this message from God: "Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war (2 Chronicles 16:7-9)." Asa relied on his own strength and intelligence and while he solved one problem he created an even bigger one. If God had sent this message to me I'd repent immediately, I would not want to go up against God. But the once great man of faith, even when stricken with disease, "did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians (2 Chronicles 16:12b)", and two years later Asa died without completing the race of faith.
Stories like Asa's show me that it's great to have faith in God and trust Him, but it's a continuing choice for the rest of our lives. Now thankfully we have been covered by the blood of Christ for all of our sins, mistakes, and doubt. And it's times like this where I'm so thankful for God's grace, for His amazing blessings even though I sometimes doubt or trip in my own race. As long as we repent and ask for God's help to learn from our mistakes (because we can't do it in our own strength) so we may be more disciplined moving forward, seek Him so that we may find Him, and accept His love, grace, and forgiveness then we will quickly get back up and continue to run the race. And I hope that someday, when I am facing the end of my time on earth, that I will be able to say as Paul did, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7)."
May you successfully run to win your race of faith, turn to God for His strength in times of exhaustion and pain, and remember what a privilege it is to be running this race for Christ!
I don't know about you, but when someone mentions running I feel an intense urge to change the subject. I don't like running, never have. To me it's exhausting and it hurts everything in me, and that's just after a run down the end of the driveway. My sister has talked about signing me up for a marathon and I just have to laugh because I would not last very long at all. You'd see me get maybe about a mile before quitting. For those who can run, I'm extremely impressed and I have absolutely no problem cheering you on!
So when Paul mentions "running a race" several times in the New Testament, that fear begins to surge through me again. It didn't take me long, though, to recognize that this is not necessarily a running race, but a race of faith. And in 1 Corinthians 9:24 he talks about running in a way to win the prize, or how we need to discipline our body, mind, spirit, and soul to become stronger and help us endure the race of faith that lasts our whole life. Even after understanding all of this, however, I still had a difficult time understanding what Paul was talking about until my Bible reading this morning.
Lately I've been reading through 2 Chronicles and recently came upon the story of Asa, King of Judah. Asa is described, according to 2 Chronicles 15:17-19, like this: "Although he did not remove the high places from Israel, Asa's heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life. He brought into the temple of God the silver and gold and the articles that he and his father had dedicated. There was no more war until the thirty-fifth year of Asa's reign." Asa is described as a man who was committed to God and served Him. Even one chapter earlier it describes a scene were the Cushite army is coming to attack Judah with a very large army. And what does Asa do? He called out to God and said, "Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. Lord, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you (2 Chronicles 14:11)." And what does God do? He strikes down the Cushites and they fall into Judah's hands. Asa was a man of great faith! Well, almost...
This morning I finished the story of Asa, and the ending didn't match up with the beginning and the middle. You see, in 2 Chronicles 16 it talks about how, in the 36th year of Asa's reign, the army of Israel went up against Judah fortified Ramah, a city of Judah, so no one could leave or enter Asa's territory. Now you'd think that a man who saw God strike a huge army before him would turn once more to His God, but it's at this point that Asa stumbles in his race and takes things into his own hands. He sends lots of silver and gold to an ally of Israel, Aram, so that they will break their treaty with Israel and even attack their old friend. The king of Aram agrees and it works out well for Judah, until a seer comes to Asa to give him this message from God: "Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand. Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with great numbers of chariots and horsemen? Yet when you relied on the Lord, he delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war (2 Chronicles 16:7-9)." Asa relied on his own strength and intelligence and while he solved one problem he created an even bigger one. If God had sent this message to me I'd repent immediately, I would not want to go up against God. But the once great man of faith, even when stricken with disease, "did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians (2 Chronicles 16:12b)", and two years later Asa died without completing the race of faith.
Stories like Asa's show me that it's great to have faith in God and trust Him, but it's a continuing choice for the rest of our lives. Now thankfully we have been covered by the blood of Christ for all of our sins, mistakes, and doubt. And it's times like this where I'm so thankful for God's grace, for His amazing blessings even though I sometimes doubt or trip in my own race. As long as we repent and ask for God's help to learn from our mistakes (because we can't do it in our own strength) so we may be more disciplined moving forward, seek Him so that we may find Him, and accept His love, grace, and forgiveness then we will quickly get back up and continue to run the race. And I hope that someday, when I am facing the end of my time on earth, that I will be able to say as Paul did, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7)."
May you successfully run to win your race of faith, turn to God for His strength in times of exhaustion and pain, and remember what a privilege it is to be running this race for Christ!
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Making a Masterpiece out of a Mess
It had been a tough day full of hurt and pain, so I went to the store and bought some paint and canvases and decided to try painting in my room to be alone with God. Not being much of an artist, I decided to try to give it my best attempt. I took a canvas and decided to try an abstract idea I'd found on Pintrest and started dropping globs of different colored paints around the canvas. I then took my brush and started swirling the paints, beginning to mix the colors, excitedly awaiting the result. Before long I was looking at a perfect representation of my mind on this particular day. The colors had begun to blend into a dull brown and there was excess paint everywhere. I sighed and thought, "Well that was a failure, I can't do anything right today." I started thinking about if anything could be done because I didn't want to throw out a perfectly good canvas, but I was out of ideas.
Finally I decided to grab some paper towel to wipe off as much paint as possible, figuring I could try to paint over what was left to hopefully create something new. I took a bunched up piece of paper towel and wiped from one side to another. I looked down at what was left and thought, "Huh, well what do you know! That looks neat!" I kept doing this until all the paint on the canvas was moving from right to left. I looked down and thought, "That turned out better than I thought! This will be the perfect background to what I want to paint!" My mess ended up being the beginning of a masterpiece!
It wasn't until the next morning when I was reflecting on this that I realized that this was yet another representation of how God works. We're a canvas that starts to think we can make a masterpiece on our own, so we start putting things together. Inevitably we all reach a point where we realize the mess we've made that forces us to throw up our hands and say, "I give up! I have no idea what I'm doing! This is a mess!". That's when God comes in and begins to work with the mess that we've left and His mighty hand works to create an incredible masterpiece that blows us away so we're left thinking, "God, you did that with me? With my mess? This is amazing!"
If you're finding yourself in a mess right now give it to God! He can't wait to show you the masterpiece He has for you!
"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." 1 John 2:1-2
Finally I decided to grab some paper towel to wipe off as much paint as possible, figuring I could try to paint over what was left to hopefully create something new. I took a bunched up piece of paper towel and wiped from one side to another. I looked down at what was left and thought, "Huh, well what do you know! That looks neat!" I kept doing this until all the paint on the canvas was moving from right to left. I looked down and thought, "That turned out better than I thought! This will be the perfect background to what I want to paint!" My mess ended up being the beginning of a masterpiece!
It wasn't until the next morning when I was reflecting on this that I realized that this was yet another representation of how God works. We're a canvas that starts to think we can make a masterpiece on our own, so we start putting things together. Inevitably we all reach a point where we realize the mess we've made that forces us to throw up our hands and say, "I give up! I have no idea what I'm doing! This is a mess!". That's when God comes in and begins to work with the mess that we've left and His mighty hand works to create an incredible masterpiece that blows us away so we're left thinking, "God, you did that with me? With my mess? This is amazing!"
If you're finding yourself in a mess right now give it to God! He can't wait to show you the masterpiece He has for you!
"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." 1 John 2:1-2
Saturday, January 10, 2015
He Will Move
"Dear Diary, Why can't I enjoy fun things like vacations and cruises? Why am I programmed in a way that I can't enjoy things without a man by my side? Why can't I break this?? I'm so frustrated! Why isn't God enough? How can I be so stupid and selfish all the time, always trying to get what I want, and then getting mad when He withholds it? And why can't I be content with myself? Why am I always last in the romance department? I know these thoughts are ungrateful and sinful but it's how I feel! How do I change this? Why can't I be truly happy? What else do I have to do? I love Christ, I've given myself to Him, and I pray and go to church, and I look for His guidance! What else do I have to do? And why do I feel so deserted? What else do I have to do to receive His Spirit, to love Him more than anything, to be grateful for everything He's given me? And why don't I feel like I'm good enough?
Lord, please help me to shed this diseased, selfish, mean-spirited skin! I don't want to be this person anymore! Please Lord, I need you so badly right now! You're the only one who can help me!!"
You might be wondering what this is from, and why there are so many questions. Today I have dedicated myself to the Lord through having a day of silence and as much solitude as one can get when they live with two dogs. A dear friend of mine had told me about this "24 Hours of Silence and Solitude", and so I planned a time to give it a try. God started the day by leading me down a final path of healing over my broken engagement, which included rereading my previous journals, most of which included many details about my previous relationship along with many Bible verses and a few nuggets of wisdom. As I was looking through some old pictures, I came across a thin journal with a pen still wedged inside. And what I found were some of my earliest prayers and writings from following God. This entry came out of that journal, written on May 16, 2012, days after I had turned 23 and almost a year old as a follower of Christ. 3 years ago, as you can probably tell, I was going through a very difficult time. What really struck me as I read through the desperate prayer at the end was that God did in fact answer that prayer! It took time, almost 3 years, but looking back it seems like no time at all. God has taken me through so much in my young years following Him, and I was filled with so much joy in realizing that I'm not that sad and confused girl anymore! Reading through this I actually had to wonder if that could've been me. I'm no longer mean-spirited, envious of others, or selfish. I focus on putting others before myself and serving God daily. I'm truly content and happy being single and God is definitely enough for me! And through my relationship with God I've realized how valued and loved I am by Him, I see myself as the Princess He sees me as! I'm content and joyful, praising God for all the incredible and undeserved blessings He's given to me, including anointing me and setting me apart for His work! My heart is so thankful!
As I was preparing to close this journal a last thought hit me. If God could answer prayers as big as this, one I forgot about but He never did, then how can I possibly believe that He can't or won't answer my biggest prayers? Who am I to doubt that He can't bring to me an incredible husband and a beautiful marriage, or lead me to a fulfilling career, or answer my hearts deepest desires? He really does do immeasurably more than we ask, it's absolutely mind-blowing! And I can't wait to look back on my newly completed journal 3 years down the road and be reminded of how much more He's done for and through me. Thank you so much Father God! Amen!
Daughter, you took a risk trusting Me, and now you are healed and whole! Live well, live blessed!
Luke 8:48 (The Message)
Lord, please help me to shed this diseased, selfish, mean-spirited skin! I don't want to be this person anymore! Please Lord, I need you so badly right now! You're the only one who can help me!!"
You might be wondering what this is from, and why there are so many questions. Today I have dedicated myself to the Lord through having a day of silence and as much solitude as one can get when they live with two dogs. A dear friend of mine had told me about this "24 Hours of Silence and Solitude", and so I planned a time to give it a try. God started the day by leading me down a final path of healing over my broken engagement, which included rereading my previous journals, most of which included many details about my previous relationship along with many Bible verses and a few nuggets of wisdom. As I was looking through some old pictures, I came across a thin journal with a pen still wedged inside. And what I found were some of my earliest prayers and writings from following God. This entry came out of that journal, written on May 16, 2012, days after I had turned 23 and almost a year old as a follower of Christ. 3 years ago, as you can probably tell, I was going through a very difficult time. What really struck me as I read through the desperate prayer at the end was that God did in fact answer that prayer! It took time, almost 3 years, but looking back it seems like no time at all. God has taken me through so much in my young years following Him, and I was filled with so much joy in realizing that I'm not that sad and confused girl anymore! Reading through this I actually had to wonder if that could've been me. I'm no longer mean-spirited, envious of others, or selfish. I focus on putting others before myself and serving God daily. I'm truly content and happy being single and God is definitely enough for me! And through my relationship with God I've realized how valued and loved I am by Him, I see myself as the Princess He sees me as! I'm content and joyful, praising God for all the incredible and undeserved blessings He's given to me, including anointing me and setting me apart for His work! My heart is so thankful!
As I was preparing to close this journal a last thought hit me. If God could answer prayers as big as this, one I forgot about but He never did, then how can I possibly believe that He can't or won't answer my biggest prayers? Who am I to doubt that He can't bring to me an incredible husband and a beautiful marriage, or lead me to a fulfilling career, or answer my hearts deepest desires? He really does do immeasurably more than we ask, it's absolutely mind-blowing! And I can't wait to look back on my newly completed journal 3 years down the road and be reminded of how much more He's done for and through me. Thank you so much Father God! Amen!
Daughter, you took a risk trusting Me, and now you are healed and whole! Live well, live blessed!
Luke 8:48 (The Message)
Friday, January 2, 2015
Be Still
Today I found myself rereading through parts of my journal, and I came across an entry that spoke to me for where I'm at today. God seems to be repeating the message of "rest" once more, but I'm realizing that it means something different than what I initially thought. I began wondering what Godly Rest was in the late summer and tried my best to apply it, but God is continually helping us to learn and grow, and I find myself in that pattern once again. So here's another flashback from my journal, maybe God is speaking the same message to you:
"Be still and know that I am God."
This is what I heard on my drive to work today. I had been trying to pray as I usually do but I kept getting nowhere. Finally I just asked God what was going on, wondering what He wanted me to do. I felt like I needed to empty my mind of thought and open my ears to God. The moments ticked by and the suspense grew but nothing happened. Finally I angrily yelled, "God, what do you want me to do?" And that's when I heard it. "Be still and know that I am God." I let it roll over and over in my head and suddenly God felt so big and so close, I could feel Him everywhere. But I still couldn't make sense of why He was telling me that.
After I parked my car at work and finally prayed in earnest, I looked on my iDisciple App and my thumb clicked on an article titled "A Balanced Diet", a short article about how to feed the mental, emotional, and spiritual life. In the prayer section it asked the question, "What do You want me to do to keep my heart attuned to Jesus? Do I need to spend more time in scripture, seeking you in prayer, or being still in Your presence?" I gasped as the pieces began to fall into place and I understood what God was trying to tell me! This is how He wants me to keep my heart attuned to Him, by being still and resting in His presence. Be still, rest in Him and know that He is God. I don't need to strive or stress, I need only be still and remember who's in charge. What a relief this is! How great you are, O God!
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God."
This is what I heard on my drive to work today. I had been trying to pray as I usually do but I kept getting nowhere. Finally I just asked God what was going on, wondering what He wanted me to do. I felt like I needed to empty my mind of thought and open my ears to God. The moments ticked by and the suspense grew but nothing happened. Finally I angrily yelled, "God, what do you want me to do?" And that's when I heard it. "Be still and know that I am God." I let it roll over and over in my head and suddenly God felt so big and so close, I could feel Him everywhere. But I still couldn't make sense of why He was telling me that.
After I parked my car at work and finally prayed in earnest, I looked on my iDisciple App and my thumb clicked on an article titled "A Balanced Diet", a short article about how to feed the mental, emotional, and spiritual life. In the prayer section it asked the question, "What do You want me to do to keep my heart attuned to Jesus? Do I need to spend more time in scripture, seeking you in prayer, or being still in Your presence?" I gasped as the pieces began to fall into place and I understood what God was trying to tell me! This is how He wants me to keep my heart attuned to Him, by being still and resting in His presence. Be still, rest in Him and know that He is God. I don't need to strive or stress, I need only be still and remember who's in charge. What a relief this is! How great you are, O God!
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
Royalty
Over the Christmas holiday God blessed me with the incredible opportunity to go to Disney World, a place I hadn't been since I was 6-7 years old. To better explain, I'm kind of a Disney Nerd who grew up loving the musical films and gleaning life lessons from the characters in these films, particularly the women. The princesses and leading women have come under scrutiny in recent years for the lessons they have supposedly taught young girls. Much of my personal strengths of character such as kindness, patience, love, believing in others, sacrifice, hope, encouragement, joy in the face of trials, friendship, strength, boldness, and standing up for my beliefs, I received from these characters. The only bad lesson I learned was that animals will come help you clean up your house when you sing (a joke, but seriously, come on animals).
Earlier this year God showed me that since He is the King of Kings and I am an adopted daughter into His royal Kingdom that it makes me His Princess. Yes, I am a Princess of the Kingdom of God! And if you are a woman following Jesus then you are one as well (and men, that would make you Princes, this royalty stuff isn't just for the women). It took a while to wrap my mind around this truth, but now that I have nothing and no one can take it from me! When I went to Disney World I met many of the princesses that I had looked up to as a child (yes, I know they're actresses), but it was such a crazy experience meeting them knowing that I am a princess! On my last night of the trip, my friend and I had dinner at Cinderella's Castle and we even wore tiaras, a symbol representing our standing in God's Kingdom. I can't even describe the feeling, it just felt right.
To better explain this point of being God's royalty, I'd like to share with you an entry from my personal journal from this summer when I first came upon this realization:
Something that has just been blowing me away is that I am a princess of God! For a girl who grew up on and LOVED Disney movies and their heroine princesses, this idea hits me so hard that it strikes joy into my heart! It makes me think of all my favorite princesses and what I share in common with them.
I share Snow White's dream of her prince and Aurora's lovely voice. Like Cinderella I don't always look like a princess on the outside, but I persevere to be one within.
I share Ariel's curiosity and Belle's desire for adventure. Like Jasmine I stand up for myself and won't allow men to have the final say on my future.
Like Pocahontas I know there is both good and bad in us all but I express grace and seek a peaceful world. I have a competitive side and desire to find out who I truly am like Mulan, and I share an independent streak with Meg.
Like Gisele I believe in true love, and I wonder when my life will begin like Rapunzel. I share Anna's adorkable personality and strong love for those close to me, and I have a beauty to unveil like Elsa.
I share many similarities with all my favorite heroines. Most importantly, I am my own as God has created me for a purpose and has designed me and crafted me in a specific way for a specific role! I am Princess Jennifer, a beautiful brunette (turned blonde) with eyes that can shift from a deep ocean blue to a piercing hazel, and I have curves and edges unique to me. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by my Father, the King of Kings, and I have a desire to see the beauty in the world and be one with it. I can get lost in gorgeous swelling melodies and join in the song. I have a desire to create and enjoy my Father's magnificent creations such as the land and seas. I have a maturity of one who has lived 25 years and knows her Heavenly Prince and true love intimately, but I also have a playful side and child-like innocence, still learning right from wrong. I have a stubbornness to try things for myself and an interest in learning new things. I am Princess Jennifer, independent, silly, and filled with love, hope, and romantic dreams. I have an adventure all my own to share as God's Princess! Just wait until you see my story!
This experience isn't just unique to me. God longs for you to know Him and yourself this way too, in a way that is specifically fit to you. He longs to give you lovely gifts and romance your heart while also comforting and protecting you like a father! Just ask Him, He's right at the door and has been waiting patiently for you to let Him in. He can't wait to show you the incredible story he has for you!
Love,
Princess Jennifer
Earlier this year God showed me that since He is the King of Kings and I am an adopted daughter into His royal Kingdom that it makes me His Princess. Yes, I am a Princess of the Kingdom of God! And if you are a woman following Jesus then you are one as well (and men, that would make you Princes, this royalty stuff isn't just for the women). It took a while to wrap my mind around this truth, but now that I have nothing and no one can take it from me! When I went to Disney World I met many of the princesses that I had looked up to as a child (yes, I know they're actresses), but it was such a crazy experience meeting them knowing that I am a princess! On my last night of the trip, my friend and I had dinner at Cinderella's Castle and we even wore tiaras, a symbol representing our standing in God's Kingdom. I can't even describe the feeling, it just felt right.
To better explain this point of being God's royalty, I'd like to share with you an entry from my personal journal from this summer when I first came upon this realization:
Something that has just been blowing me away is that I am a princess of God! For a girl who grew up on and LOVED Disney movies and their heroine princesses, this idea hits me so hard that it strikes joy into my heart! It makes me think of all my favorite princesses and what I share in common with them.
I share Snow White's dream of her prince and Aurora's lovely voice. Like Cinderella I don't always look like a princess on the outside, but I persevere to be one within.
I share Ariel's curiosity and Belle's desire for adventure. Like Jasmine I stand up for myself and won't allow men to have the final say on my future.
Like Pocahontas I know there is both good and bad in us all but I express grace and seek a peaceful world. I have a competitive side and desire to find out who I truly am like Mulan, and I share an independent streak with Meg.
Like Gisele I believe in true love, and I wonder when my life will begin like Rapunzel. I share Anna's adorkable personality and strong love for those close to me, and I have a beauty to unveil like Elsa.
I share many similarities with all my favorite heroines. Most importantly, I am my own as God has created me for a purpose and has designed me and crafted me in a specific way for a specific role! I am Princess Jennifer, a beautiful brunette (turned blonde) with eyes that can shift from a deep ocean blue to a piercing hazel, and I have curves and edges unique to me. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by my Father, the King of Kings, and I have a desire to see the beauty in the world and be one with it. I can get lost in gorgeous swelling melodies and join in the song. I have a desire to create and enjoy my Father's magnificent creations such as the land and seas. I have a maturity of one who has lived 25 years and knows her Heavenly Prince and true love intimately, but I also have a playful side and child-like innocence, still learning right from wrong. I have a stubbornness to try things for myself and an interest in learning new things. I am Princess Jennifer, independent, silly, and filled with love, hope, and romantic dreams. I have an adventure all my own to share as God's Princess! Just wait until you see my story!
This experience isn't just unique to me. God longs for you to know Him and yourself this way too, in a way that is specifically fit to you. He longs to give you lovely gifts and romance your heart while also comforting and protecting you like a father! Just ask Him, He's right at the door and has been waiting patiently for you to let Him in. He can't wait to show you the incredible story he has for you!
Love,
Princess Jennifer
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Look Above the Clouds
I recently returned from a dream vacation to Disney World (more on that to come), and while I was on the plane to Orlando I was inspired to write in my journal and later realized that I want to share it with you. So here it is:
The sky was grey and hazy as it was in Detroit, and I watched the rain fall constant on the pavement and plane outside the Chicago terminal. Anyone looking could see that it was a less than pleasant day. Finally the time came for us to line up and board our flight to Orlando. And as the airplane taxied toward the runway I continued to allow the unpleasant weather to dull my excitement.
Suddenly the plane sped up and before I knew it we were off the ground watching the city get smaller until I could see nothing at all due to the cloud cover. Just as I was beginning to determine that my view was less than stellar, our aircraft broke through the clouds and my eyes beheld a lovely sight. I could see the clear blue sky that accentuated what looked like perfectly clean, smooth, white hills of snow. Only it wasn't snow at all but the tops of those same grey, miserable clouds that I had witnessed on land. As I was taking in my new breathtaking view, I could feel God sharing with me an important lesson. He showed me that when we are of the world it is like viewing life from the ground. There will be times of sunny and clear skies, moments of dreary clouds and hazy rain, and moments of trying and terrifying storms. From the world we cannot realize that the sun is still shining and we don't have the peace of realizing that there is still a beautiful clear, blue sky above the clouds. However, when we are in the world and not of it, when we declare Jesus Christ as our love, Lord, and Savior we have the chance to poke our heads through the clouds and see how God is always constant in His glory and His ways, just like the sun and sky even when our human eyes can't see it. We are given a peace and assurance that Jesus remains Lord and God remains majestic in His Kingdom even through our worldly storms. And we are warmed by His gift of salvation and His never-ending unconditional love for us. While the world only has a ground-level perspective, walking in and with God offers a much higher perspective if we choose to accept it and separate ourselves from the world. We have the opportunity to poke our head through the clouds and be graced by His peace and assurance that the storm will end and we'll be alright. May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ warm and calm you! Draw near to Him and rest in His assurance that you're going to be fine, just keep your hand in His!
The sky was grey and hazy as it was in Detroit, and I watched the rain fall constant on the pavement and plane outside the Chicago terminal. Anyone looking could see that it was a less than pleasant day. Finally the time came for us to line up and board our flight to Orlando. And as the airplane taxied toward the runway I continued to allow the unpleasant weather to dull my excitement.
Suddenly the plane sped up and before I knew it we were off the ground watching the city get smaller until I could see nothing at all due to the cloud cover. Just as I was beginning to determine that my view was less than stellar, our aircraft broke through the clouds and my eyes beheld a lovely sight. I could see the clear blue sky that accentuated what looked like perfectly clean, smooth, white hills of snow. Only it wasn't snow at all but the tops of those same grey, miserable clouds that I had witnessed on land. As I was taking in my new breathtaking view, I could feel God sharing with me an important lesson. He showed me that when we are of the world it is like viewing life from the ground. There will be times of sunny and clear skies, moments of dreary clouds and hazy rain, and moments of trying and terrifying storms. From the world we cannot realize that the sun is still shining and we don't have the peace of realizing that there is still a beautiful clear, blue sky above the clouds. However, when we are in the world and not of it, when we declare Jesus Christ as our love, Lord, and Savior we have the chance to poke our heads through the clouds and see how God is always constant in His glory and His ways, just like the sun and sky even when our human eyes can't see it. We are given a peace and assurance that Jesus remains Lord and God remains majestic in His Kingdom even through our worldly storms. And we are warmed by His gift of salvation and His never-ending unconditional love for us. While the world only has a ground-level perspective, walking in and with God offers a much higher perspective if we choose to accept it and separate ourselves from the world. We have the opportunity to poke our head through the clouds and be graced by His peace and assurance that the storm will end and we'll be alright. May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ warm and calm you! Draw near to Him and rest in His assurance that you're going to be fine, just keep your hand in His!
You Know How It Ends
Today I gathered with some close friends and watched my beloved Michigan State Spartans play in the Cotton Bowl against the Baylor Bears (Go Green!). Now, as much as I love my school and their football team, they have a never-ending tendency of stressing me out because I never know if they're going to win or lose a game, most times, until the clock hits 0:00, and today's game was no exception. Down by 20 points, I thought we were done for and was prepared to say, "Oh well, better luck next year". I thought I knew how this game would end. Fortunately for me I was wrong, and my Spartans completed the impossible comeback through a crazy 4th quarter so the scoreboard read Spartans:42- Bears: 41 at 0:00! It was unbelievable, but as I was driving home I thought about how I might have reacted if I had known that my boys were going to win while watching the game. I've had the experience of recording and re-watching MSU games and it's a much more relaxing experience. While I know what the final score will be, however, I rarely remember what happened in the middle of the game unless it was highlight worthy. Many times, if it was a win, there are some great catches and runs, perhaps a blocked kick or a trick play here and there, but there are also many low points; an interception, a fumble, being unable to convert on 3rd down, a missed field goal attempt. And throughout much of the game are just lulls filled with a lack of excitement. Thinking about the way I contemplate and experience football games got me thinking about the way we think about our lives.
Many times we approach life as if we were watching the game live. We live and die by each play, and the uncertainty of what could happen next can stress us out. We get excited about each big play and have a desire for more, but when the worst happens we can get so depressed that we decide we don't want to watch anymore (that tends to be my reaction). And if a game gets really boring we have a tendency to tune out and wish for something exciting to happen. We're on the edge of our seats until the time clock reaches 0:00 and then we look back to see what happened and see if we can remember all the big moments or, if it's a loss, we try to forget and distract ourselves from the disappointment. But what if we had a different approach? If we know Jesus and accept him into our lives as Lord and Savior, then it's like watching a game where you know the outcome is going to be a win. Jesus already won by dying on the cross with all of our sins and defeating the grave by rising again. He won the ultimate battle! And better yet, even when we don't know what comes next he does! Just look at Jeremiah 29:11 or read through the Psalms, he knows we're going to win too because he already won!
What if we approached each day knowing this, fully internalizing his victory. What would happen in our daily life? Would we walk with confidence in knowing that even though the time clock hasn't reached 0:00 that we're going to win? Would we let the lulls and setbacks disappoint us? It's strange to think about, but I have a feeling it would help us to relax to our daily stresses and forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Instead of thinking that change and development in us is hopeless, would we be able to let go and trust that God has got this so we could get up and try again? During the Cotton Bowl I watched Connor Cook, the MSU quarterback, throw an interception during a crucial point in the game when the Spartans were beginning to mount a comeback. While many of us would want the ground to eat us whole so we could disappear and try to forget that ever happened or just give up altogether, that's not what Cook did. On the next set of downs he got back out on the field and tried again, this time leading to the eventual comeback. This is what walking with Jesus does for us! Yes, we will make mistakes, some of which will be embarrassing or incredibly damaging, but we know that with Jesus everything will be alright and it gives us the confidence to get back up and try again. And unlike a sports game, we don't have to mount the comeback on our own, instead we know that He is with us and that we will overcome because he loves us!
So instead of approaching your life as a live game, try looking at it as if it's a game already won, and you're just watching what happens to lead to victory. Because Jesus loves us and died for us, we are victorious and can walk in that confidence even though the time clock has not yet hit 0:00. Trust him, because he knows the plans he has for you and he will not stop working with you here on earth until his work in you is complete! And then we will celebrate triumphantly in heaven together!
Many times we approach life as if we were watching the game live. We live and die by each play, and the uncertainty of what could happen next can stress us out. We get excited about each big play and have a desire for more, but when the worst happens we can get so depressed that we decide we don't want to watch anymore (that tends to be my reaction). And if a game gets really boring we have a tendency to tune out and wish for something exciting to happen. We're on the edge of our seats until the time clock reaches 0:00 and then we look back to see what happened and see if we can remember all the big moments or, if it's a loss, we try to forget and distract ourselves from the disappointment. But what if we had a different approach? If we know Jesus and accept him into our lives as Lord and Savior, then it's like watching a game where you know the outcome is going to be a win. Jesus already won by dying on the cross with all of our sins and defeating the grave by rising again. He won the ultimate battle! And better yet, even when we don't know what comes next he does! Just look at Jeremiah 29:11 or read through the Psalms, he knows we're going to win too because he already won!
What if we approached each day knowing this, fully internalizing his victory. What would happen in our daily life? Would we walk with confidence in knowing that even though the time clock hasn't reached 0:00 that we're going to win? Would we let the lulls and setbacks disappoint us? It's strange to think about, but I have a feeling it would help us to relax to our daily stresses and forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Instead of thinking that change and development in us is hopeless, would we be able to let go and trust that God has got this so we could get up and try again? During the Cotton Bowl I watched Connor Cook, the MSU quarterback, throw an interception during a crucial point in the game when the Spartans were beginning to mount a comeback. While many of us would want the ground to eat us whole so we could disappear and try to forget that ever happened or just give up altogether, that's not what Cook did. On the next set of downs he got back out on the field and tried again, this time leading to the eventual comeback. This is what walking with Jesus does for us! Yes, we will make mistakes, some of which will be embarrassing or incredibly damaging, but we know that with Jesus everything will be alright and it gives us the confidence to get back up and try again. And unlike a sports game, we don't have to mount the comeback on our own, instead we know that He is with us and that we will overcome because he loves us!
So instead of approaching your life as a live game, try looking at it as if it's a game already won, and you're just watching what happens to lead to victory. Because Jesus loves us and died for us, we are victorious and can walk in that confidence even though the time clock has not yet hit 0:00. Trust him, because he knows the plans he has for you and he will not stop working with you here on earth until his work in you is complete! And then we will celebrate triumphantly in heaven together!
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